The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population.”
The environmental protection group that has put forward this argument hasdrawn some unrealistic conclusions from the argument that the small piece of land of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve, to be bought by the company will have severe ramifications on the bird population of the preserve. In support of the argument they have mentioned that their business relies on tourists that will mainly come to see the bird population in the sanctuary and that the measures the co-operation has promised to take to protect the bird population will be futile. Though the conclusion seems plausible at first, an indepth analysis of the argument reveals some major logical fallacies.
Firstly, a major lacuna in the argument is that there is no mention in the argument about what measures the Smith Co-opertaion has promised to take and why do the town people think that these steps to be taken will not be of any benifit to the conservation of birf population and variety. It may be possible that the company has analysed the situation carefully and has a concrete plan about how it is going to protect the avian population after building the hotel. Thus there should be more evidence about why the protection group feels that the company will not strive to protect the birds, as promised.
Furthermore, the argument unfairly assumes that the hotel built on the sanctuary area will be the cause that more tourists will visit the sanctuary and cause a detrimental effect on the bird population. for instance, it maybe possible that there are several hotels in the area surrounding the Wildlife Preserve in which the tourists that have come to do the bird watching can reside. Thus the argument provide any proof as to why the construction of a small hotel by the company will attract such a high number of tourists that it will be a hazard for the bird population in the area.
Considering the above points, the writers of the environment protection group fail to provide a convincing argument due to absence of any concrete evidence. They must bolster with information, the argument that a small hotel constructed by the Smith Co-operation on the land sold to them will be disastrous to the diverse bird population in the area. However since no such proof is provided, and the argument simply relies on some wishy washy observations, it is likely to be incorrect.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 398 350
No. of Characters: 1929 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.467 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.847 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.695 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.624 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.652 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 467, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...an population after building the hotel. Thus there should be more evidence about why...
^^^^
Line 5, column 204, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: For
...rimental effect on the bird population. for instance, it maybe possible that there ...
^^^
Line 5, column 385, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ome to do the bird watching can reside. Thus the argument provide any proof as to wh...
^^^^
Line 7, column 352, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...he diverse bird population in the area. However since no such proof is provided, and th...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 488, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rvations, it is likely to be incorrect.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, so, thus, as to, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 34.0 16.3942115768 207% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1965.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 398.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93718592965 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75789337343 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.439698492462 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 33.0 22.8473053892 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.6582183513 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 163.75 119.503703932 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 33.1666666667 23.324526521 142% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.33333333333 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154397095799 0.218282227539 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658210305369 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0507648227247 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104216192719 0.128457276422 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0273307744004 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.4 14.3799401198 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.44 48.3550499002 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.2 11.1389221557 136% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.