"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The argument talks about board of directors of Monarch book center recommending for opening a cafe inside book house. They support there view with some facts and assumptions which are not that accurate according to me. They assume that removing children section could be a good choice to make space for cafe on certain analysis did national census. They also assume that having a coffee shop inside the book house is adapted by a new book house called Regal Books, they too have to try it to make more profit by attracting customers. I disagree with the directors approach of coming up with this decision. They could have done more research before jumping to this conclusion.
First of all, Monarch is a very old book house and also have a considerable good profit from past 20 years. They will be having some regular customers who always choose Monarch over other book stores. Hence it is strongly recommended to the store to have a survey on there proposal for a cafe because some customers may not like idea. Having a cafe might attract all kind of people, some may not be interested in reading books rather they are here to meet some friends or to have coffee. This may create a chaos in the store end up disturbing sane people involved in books. The Regal Book store might be seen having a lot of crowd but it is hard to say that people who enter the store are actually want to read books. As it is a new store it is recommended to wait for a while to know the results of having a cafe inside a book store rather than jumping to the conclusion depending on the success they achieved in early days.
Secondly, Board of directors decide to clean up the children section to make some empty space for building a cafe. They have some research done on national census this year which proposed about having probably there will be a decline in percentage of population under age ten. The census itself says it will probably become less popular not definitely unpopular. Some factors that may be taken into account are, the store might not do as much profit as it might done with the children book section intact than having a coffee shop. The Children section might attract lot of families who want to encourage there children to start reading books in early ages.Therefore, taking all this in to account I would say it is not a practical decision to discontinue something existing to try something new. Instead they can have a small coffee house beside or outside the store but near to the store where people can enjoy books with a sip of coffee.
Finally, I can also propose the other ways to gain more profit rather than having a coffee shop. As Monarch is a reputed and well established book store, they can have stores in different parts of the city which will help them gain profit by attracting customers. Moreover, people will regularly visit the place near to were their home.
Therefore, I would like to conclude saying that the decision of opening a cafe should be based on facts rather than assumptions. It is recommended to talk to customers before jumping to a conclusion. The proposed idea has its own pros and cons which might need to be thoroughly studied before taking any decision. Hence i would suggest to drop the idea of building a coffee house inside a book store unless they have strong evidence to support it.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 596 350
No. of Characters: 2696 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.941 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.523 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.313 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.823 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of Monarch book center recommending for opening a cafe inside book house. They s...
^^^
Line 4, column 161, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cording to me. They assume that removing children section could be a good choice ...
^^^
Line 5, column 105, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n certain analysis did national census. They also assume that having a coffee shop i...
^^^^
Line 7, column 32, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...sion. First of all, Monarch is a very old book house and also have a considera...
^^
Line 7, column 203, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
... choose Monarch over other book stores. Hence it is strongly recommended to the store...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 258, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ongly recommended to the store to have a survey on there proposal for a cafe beca...
^^^
Line 8, column 360, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun crowd seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of crowds'.
Suggestion: a lot of crowds
...e Regal Book store might be seen having a lot of crowd but it is hard to say that people who e...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 442, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'wanted'.
Suggestion: wanted
...people who enter the store are actually want to read books. As it is a new store it ...
^^^^
Line 10, column 88, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the children section to make some empty space for building a cafe. They have som...
^^^
Line 11, column 375, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[2]
Message: Did you mean 'have done' or 'do'?
Suggestion: have done; do
...might not do as much profit as it might done with the children book section intact t...
^^^^
Line 11, column 570, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...en to start reading books in early ages.Therefore, taking all this in to account I would ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 656, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ld say it is not a practical decision to discontinue something existing to try so...
^^
Line 11, column 711, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Instead,
...omething existing to try something new. Instead they can have a small coffee house besi...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 281, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y attracting customers. Moreover, people will regularly visit the place near to w...
^^^
Line 16, column 175, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... recommended to talk to customers before jumping to a conclusion. The proposed id...
^^^
Line 17, column 140, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...hly studied before taking any decision. Hence i would suggest to drop the idea of bui...
^^^^^
Line 17, column 146, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...udied before taking any decision. Hence i would suggest to drop the idea of build...
^
Line 17, column 154, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggest dropping'.
Suggestion: suggest dropping
...fore taking any decision. Hence i would suggest to drop the idea of building a coffee house ins...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 18, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ey have strong evidence to support it.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, hence, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 89.0 55.5748502994 160% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2773.0 2260.96107784 123% => OK
No of words: 595.0 441.139720559 135% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66050420168 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93888872473 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.3924155752 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423529411765 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 875.7 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.4957570035 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.653846154 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8846153846 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 11.0 5.15768463074 213% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 19.0 5.25449101796 362% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.252367921683 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0791361912652 0.0743258471296 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0612951582405 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113092162066 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0691089712227 0.0628817314937 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.93 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.