We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten(where). Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Monarch book store have been in business during past two decades. The writer recommends that opening a cafe' in this store would lead to attract more customers and as a result Monarch Books would compete more efficiently with Regal Books which recently opened its own cafe'. This conclusion cannot be accepted as it is in that it rests on a number of premises all of which can be challenged in one way or another.
The first problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that adding a café to Monarch book store, which was established in the area for a long time, would increase its popularity. However, there is no concrete evidence to prove that people would prefer to use a cafe' inside the book store. It is highly probable that opening a café may make the book store's atmosphere noisy. making and Serving coffee to people in working hours of the Monarch Books may distract customers who used to choose and read the books in the soothed store. So adding a cafe' to this store may not only do not attract more new book readers but also lose its satisfied old customers.
The second problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that the cafe' should be launch in Monarch Books replacing the children section. This recommendation is based on a national census indicated a significant reduction in the number of population under 10. However, there is no robust proof that children section is only make up products which are suitable for children under ten. It is possible that the most proportion of this section are teenagers who are fan of the intellectual games and amusing DVDs which are offered beside children books in this section. Discontinuing the children section may lead to lose a large proportion of their young customers. Moreover, the writer's conclusion is erroneously base on a national census that the number of people participated in which is not mentioned. As you know, in research studies the greater the number of the people in the sample, the more reliable and valid the findings are. Maybe this census considered the preference of only ten people about popularity of children books. Hence, the findings of such a census are neither reliable nor valid.
Finally, the writer assumes that Monarch Books will be able to compete better with Regal Books, if it opens a café in its store because the Regal store recently have done it. However, there is no valid evidence to illustrate that the Monarch Books' cafe' would be as successful as Regal books' cafe. It is highly possible that these two store are located in different areas. People absolutely may have distinct favorites in their vicinities. Hence, Regal Books' café may attract more customers to its store because in their vicinity there is no cafe; while, the area which Monarch Books is located maybe full of perfect cafe's and people in that district may obviously prefer to use them instead of Monarch Book's cafe. Therefore comparing the probable consequent of opening a café' in two different book store is not neither accurate nor reliable.
In the final analysis, the writer's conclusion cannot be taken to be correct because, as it was shown in the body paragraphs above, it depends on a number of assumptions each of which is questionable. Opening a café' in Monarch book store would not guarantee increasing the number of its customers. The conclusion can only be accepted if the weaknesses already referred to are all removed.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 586 350
No. of Characters: 2789 1500
No. of Different Words: 229 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.92 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.759 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.506 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 195 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.44 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.851 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be challenged in one way or another. The first problem with the argument is t...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 388, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Making
... make the book stores atmosphere noisy. making and Serving coffee to people in working...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lso lose its satisfied old customers. The second problem with the argument is ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'launched'?
Suggestion: launched
... writer assumes that the cafe should be launch in Monarch Books replacing the children...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 466, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...roportion of this section are teenagers who are fan of the intellectual games and amusi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 689, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...of their young customers. Moreover, the writers conclusion is erroneously base on a nat...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...us are neither reliable nor valid. Finally, the writer assumes that Monarch...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 291, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'books'' or 'book's'?
Suggestion: books'; book's
...ks cafe would be as successful as Regal books cafe. It is highly possible that these ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 720, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...use them instead of Monarch Books cafe. Therefore comparing the probable consequent of op...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s not neither accurate nor reliable. In the final analysis, the writers concl...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 33, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...ble. In the final analysis, the writers conclusion cannot be taken to be correc...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, so, therefore, while, you know, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.6327345309 183% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 25.0 13.6137724551 184% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2851.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 586.0 441.139720559 133% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86518771331 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.92010537223 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55082924548 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.399317406143 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 900.9 705.55239521 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.3498110042 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.653846154 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5384615385 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.34615384615 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.33132931334 0.218282227539 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102704160858 0.0743258471296 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.094803149622 0.0701772020484 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214514837236 0.128457276422 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0940748183669 0.0628817314937 150% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.