All parents should be required to volunteer time to their children's schools.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position
This topic raises the controversial issue on whether parents should dedicate some of their time to volunteer activity for their children’s schools. Indisputably, in certain situations it could be extremely helpful but most of the times it can create negative effects. Parents volunteer activity to their children’s schools should not be mandatory. The recommendation could severely hinder the development of kids and have negative effects on both kids’ parents and on the community.
The main reason which leads me to reject the above recommendation are the negative effects that could be induced by the presence of parents at schools on their kids. Education at schools is one of the most important steps in the development of a child. In the classroom, kids meet two different types of subjects: teachers and other kids. The relationship with the latter is the first step done by children to interact with their peers. Therefore, it is fundamental that they act not under the judgment of their parents. Whereas, the relationship with the former is the first time the kid has a direct relationship with an authoritarian figure who is not their parents. Therefore, it is clear as entering in a classroom, and more generally being at school, is a key step in the formation of a kid, and it is of primary importance that they start to behave independently by their parents. If parents are required to volunteer their time to school their presence will definitely hinder or bias the learning process of their kids.
In addition, if it is mandatory for each parent to devote some time to their children’s schools, this is likely to have negative effects on the parents themselves and on the community. The volunteer activity could have two different drawbacks for kids’ parents: it could reduce the amount of time devoted to work and spare time. If parents have to reduce the time spent at work, which earns them money, to volunteer time to schools, which does not generate income, the family’s wage will be reduced. Clearly, this policy can be extremely dangerous for some families. Moreover, if the recommendation is in place this will create a huge free workforce for the schools. However, this is not a good point. Indeed, the availability of a huge free workforce for schools will steal the jobs to people living in the city, or more generally to the community: the unemployment rate will rase. To volunteer time to school could be accepted only in specific circumstances. Firstly, the activity should not be mandatory but free to be joined only by those who can do it and want to do it. Secondly, the number of volunteer parents at schools should always be not too high in order to be sure that the relationship between students and teachers is not altered by their presence.
In conclusion, the recommendation is not suitable because it can alter the relationship among classmates and teachers. Additionally, it can have negative effects on both parents and the community as a whole.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 415, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...on could severely hinder the development of kids and have negative effects on bot...
^^
Line 3, column 522, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ot under the judgment of their parents. Whereas, the relationship with the former is th...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, whereas, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2526.0 2235.4752809 113% => OK
No of words: 502.0 442.535393258 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03187250996 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7334296765 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99135275395 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.418326693227 0.4932671777 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 781.2 704.065955056 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.4265088724 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.25 118.986275619 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9166666667 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.21951772744 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 5.13820224719 195% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.25403953405 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.081071533953 0.0831039109588 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0588919504314 0.0758088955206 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154865092614 0.150359130593 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0701372506608 0.0667264976115 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.1392134831 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.55 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 100.480337079 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.