Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Dreams are our guidance through life most of the time. As we know we generally about our own future rather than humanity, a few of us have ideal of saving the world, fighting against inequality etc. I agree with that many unsolved problems are born and stay without resolution because of selfishness in humanity, that is lack of idealism. However, by contrast, this selfish curiosity have created more bigger results and sometimes have become precursor in their fields and inspired extensive people independent from their aims.
Firstly, selfish desire of achieving feeds passionate and ambition. Coupled with these emotions, people have incentive to discover and focus on their final destination. For instance, if Cristoph Coloumb had not kept the curiosity to wander around the world, most of people would still have no idea about America and shape of the world. This discovery had leaded to many differences in geography, accordingly, seaways.This illustrates that passionate and devoting root from selfishness undoubtedly.
Secondly, as we have seen through history, selfish thi achievement instinct also created some precursor figures in several fields such as science, art and sports also. Şahika Sayman, a Turkish free diver, has broken a new record with diving into 83 m. This event has inspired or may even unable some to be heard of free diving. New dreams bring new successes which lead to improvements, refinements and records.
On the other hand, for some cases, I agree with idea that focusing on selfish dreams own can lead problems. For instance, many environmental issues are rooted from reluctant attitude of high segment people, mostly employees. To put it another way, contemplating only own profits can create indirect problems which stay for being solved by struggles of sentimental people.
In conclusion, all things considered, I mostly disagree the notion of worthy goals. In fact, every goal has a worth of existing, consequently, young people should follow their dreams regardless of advice.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 93, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e. As we know we generally about our own future rather than humanity, a few of us...
^^
Line 1, column 399, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'bigger' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: bigger
...st, this selfish curiosity have created more bigger results and sometimes have become precu...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 423, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'sometimes' is usually put between 'have' and 'become'.
Suggestion: have sometimes become
...ty have created more bigger results and sometimes have become precursor in their fields and inspired ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d ambition. Coupled with these emotions, people have incentive to discover and fo...
^^
Line 3, column 260, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...e curiosity to wander around the world, most of people would still have no idea about America ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 419, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...nces in geography, accordingly, seaways.This illustrates that passionate and devotin...
^^^^
Line 5, column 163, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
... fields such as science, art and sports also. Şahika Sayman, a Turkish free diver, h...
^^^^
Line 5, column 219, Rule ID: NEW_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'record'.
Suggestion: record
...man, a Turkish free diver, has broken a new record with diving into 83 m. This event has i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 35, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s. On the other hand, for some cases, I agree with idea that focusing on selfi...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 19.5258426966 31% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 33.0505617978 70% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1712.0 2235.4752809 77% => OK
No of words: 320.0 442.535393258 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75635629047 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 215.323595506 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.640625 0.4932671777 130% => OK
syllable_count: 518.4 704.065955056 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.0347197064 60.3974514979 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.705882353 118.986275619 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8235294118 23.4991977007 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.41176470588 5.21951772744 180% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.134403772314 0.243740707755 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0422344196994 0.0831039109588 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0345438141738 0.0758088955206 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0802083014199 0.150359130593 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0441702420257 0.0667264976115 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.8420337079 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.1639044944 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 100.480337079 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.