Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Throughout the history, one of the indices of development and civilization in each society is the literacy of its citizens. In consequence, the authorities are trying to make new educational policies in order to improve the educational system. A controversial question regarding this issue is whether formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free or not. Some people are inclined towards the opinion that formal education causes teenagers and juveniles to think with the fixed-mind. But I, despite the general consensus, believe that formal education has a profound impact on flourishing the mind due to some reasons. In what follows, I will aptly explain my viewpoints.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that never can anyone deny the effect of formal education in improving the children's minds. In other words, in school, teachers establish the fair competition between students by assigning the homework to groups. Because students are more influenced by their peers, It makes a great ambitious not only between the groups but also among members of the group. Hence, because each group endeavors to present their work in the best quality, they try to use the best references such as Net, relative books, and so forth for searching. Also, the members, because of being responsible, do their roles to the best of their capability. As a result, using the new methods leads students' minds to be enhanced.
Another equally significant point to be mentioned is that because the formal education is established by people who are experienced and knowledgeable, they can help students to move the correct way. Thus, formal education helps students to see the science through the new lens. In fact, it is the duty of education experts draw the way correctly. After a while, students are themselves responsible for enhancing their knowledge by surfing the web, examining, reviewing the books, to name a few. Obviously, students can think out of the box by having the basic information. Students who try to study without formal education are such as a blind person who cannot recognize where they are, where they want to go, and how they can go. However, formal education is such as light helping students to promote their knowledge in a true way.
In a nutshell, contemplating all above-mentioned reasons, one soon realizes that enticing students to enhance their knowledge and being such as a useful tool, both, are the main reasons why I agree that formal education is necessary for thinking free. Hence, I strongly suggest that authorities put more emphasis on their duties to enhance students' knowledge.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 540, Rule ID: GENERAL_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'consensus'.
Suggestion: consensus
...with the fixed-mind. But I, despite the general consensus, believe that formal education has a pr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s, I will aptly explain my viewpoints. The first exquisite point to be mentione...
^^^
Line 3, column 723, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'minds being'.
Suggestion: minds being
...t, using the new methods leads students minds to be enhanced. Another equally significan...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 820, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a true way" with adverb for "true"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ing students to promote their knowledge in a true way. In a nutshell, contemplating all ab...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 361, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r duties to enhance students knowledge.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, regarding, so, thus, while, in fact, such as, as a result, in my view, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2229.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 433.0 442.535393258 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14780600462 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56165014514 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82625393039 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554272517321 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.38483146067 251% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.6477193923 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.142857143 118.986275619 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.619047619 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85714285714 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.2624844861 0.243740707755 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0778875493431 0.0831039109588 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.142863199346 0.0758088955206 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.165143176189 0.150359130593 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.165827591194 0.0667264976115 249% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.59 12.1639044944 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 100.480337079 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.