Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Be it the rather more broad-based and liberal education system in the west or the rather content-based and rigorous education system in east, education aims to impart to students useful knowledge and skills that mold them into better individuals. Albeit there are lots of room for improvement, formal education is necessary to grant humans true freedom empowered by knowledge, power and self-disciplinary spirit.
Above all else, we must accede to the fact that classrooms of students can become mindless conformists when they learn in a dry way, relying on repetitive memorization and mechanical regurgitation of content without internalizing what they learnt. In the novel, Hard Time, Charles Dickens pokes fun at such education systems in his monstrous creation of the school master, who viewed the students as "pitchers" to be filled "full of facts". The hapless students were not just required to "consume" those facts with relish, but also to replicate everything in the textbooks during exams. Excruciating as learning becomes, students in the school failed to develop their potential. Dubbed as "rote-learning", certain formal education systems indeed restrained students' mind, as they advocate acquisition of knowledge through the mindless way as opposed to real understanding and appreciation of knowledge. Such an educational method can be inherently hazardous and does not pay dividends in nurturing healthy talents with a high caliber, only producing depressed souls with grudges against schools.
On the flip side, formal education needs to be restrictive to imbue students with self-disciplinary spirit and scrupulousness when it comes to the academic. All of us, by human nature, can be indolent. Indubitably, all of us can become jaded when doing homework, ennui when listening to lectures, and basically disgruntled when inundated with the barrage of abstruse knowledge. Without formal education system that forces us to persevere, how many of us will give up on the road to harnessing the power of knowledge? Even if a modicum amount of us really harbor an unwavering wish to invent something great due to genuine interest in science, how many of us will fail to build a solid foundation for mathematics unless we are taught in a systematic way? While some Asian education systems has long been criticized for being content-heavy, students from regions like Singapore and Hong Kong scored the highest PISA score in the world. A truism goes: "No pain, no gain"; without us stepping out from our comfort zones and learn in the standard education system in a strenuous way, we can hardly build the solid foundation of knowledge and become able to control ourselves.
On the whole, formal education may be restrictive in developing individuals, especially when the education system takes an oppressive form and strangles students' creativity. However, more often than not, we need a formal education system that restrains us, so that we will not go astray and learn to stay focused on what we are supposed to do.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 120, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a dry way" with adverb for "dry"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...me mindless conformists when they learn in a dry way, relying on repetitive memorization and...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 734, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a systematic way" with adverb for "systematic"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...on for mathematics unless we are taught in a systematic way? While some Asian education systems has...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1070, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a strenuous way" with adverb for "strenuous"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... learn in the standard education system in a strenuous way, we can hardly build the solid foundati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, really, so, while, on the whole
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.5258426966 67% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 58.6224719101 130% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2606.0 2235.4752809 117% => OK
No of words: 482.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.40663900415 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.27801617731 2.79657885939 117% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 215.323595506 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.580912863071 0.4932671777 118% => OK
syllable_count: 804.6 704.065955056 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.2957427582 60.3974514979 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 153.294117647 118.986275619 129% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3529411765 23.4991977007 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.52941176471 5.21951772744 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.111317735963 0.243740707755 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0419212974975 0.0831039109588 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0310449361595 0.0758088955206 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0839449540768 0.150359130593 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0266802489936 0.0667264976115 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.2 14.1392134831 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.8420337079 71% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.1743820225 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.39 12.1639044944 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.58 8.38706741573 114% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 100.480337079 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 22.0 11.8971910112 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 22.0 11.7820224719 187% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.