Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline; students cannot be motivated by school or college alone.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
No one can gainsay that a proper education system is required to bring about our children to become more intelligent and competent. Some people, in the sense, are in the position that school or college themselves are not essential to educate children, as students are able to learn themselves. However, not everyone agrees on such position. There are certainly ways that school and teachers assist their students in learning better.
First and foremost, some people argue that forcing young people to go to school and follow a systemized curriculum does not help them to learn more, when they are not motivated and also possibly lose their creativity. Most lectures in school can be something that some youngsters are not interested in, such as math, literature, and they would prefer doing other things creatively that they desire to study. While it is often believed that those who lag behind the school would become less successful, compared to those who finish their education courses well. However, it can be a kind of prejudice, if we refer to the following examples. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates once dropped out of college due to the lack of his interest and started his own business. They were able to learn what they thought necessary and created one of the most astonishing inventions in the world, iPhone and Microsoft. Therefore, it can be concluded that learning does not seem to have anything to do with going to school, but to do with someone's willpower to do so.
However, what was alluded to above should not be overgeneralized to all context. Alongside those exceptional historical figures, most of people do need someone to help them in learning. Teachers are generally familiar with what their students need and develop, depending on their level, being trained in that major. Students also benefit from their guidance and advice, but also get inspired by their teachers. One famous example can be the story of Helen Keller. She was deaf and blind, and was illiterate, because no one helped her learn language and how to communicate. However, since she met Sullivan teacher, she was able to learn languages and start to read literatures and create her own poetry, and even later she entered to a university by continuous Sullivan's dedication for her. Sullivan, exactly understood what Kelen needed and constantly encouraged and assisted her to keep learning. Helen, later, as her teacher did, devoted her life to establishing the education system for the disabled and inspired and helped millions of disabled students to keep on studying. As seen from this example, teachers can be most important assistant as well as a role model that our young children follow and gain benefit from.
To sum up, there are no denying the fact that to some people, education in school or college may not be necessary to continue their path of career, as they have strong willpower and determination to learning. However, most of people would need teachers and their assistance to study new things. Therefore, we should make more concentrated efforts to make more efficient education system that can help students to develop their capacity and potential.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 426, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...chers assist their students in learning better. First and foremost, some people arg...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...e those exceptional historical figures, most of people do need someone to help them in learnin...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 22, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'noes', 'nos'?
Suggestion: noes; nos
...n benefit from. To sum up, there are no denying the fact that to some people, e...
^^
Line 7, column 219, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the people') or simply say ''most people''.
Suggestion: most of the people; most people
...and determination to learning. However, most of people would need teachers and their assistanc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, well, while, kind of, such as, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 14.8657303371 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 33.0505617978 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 58.6224719101 118% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2641.0 2235.4752809 118% => OK
No of words: 524.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04007633588 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7844588288 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64391368208 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 215.323595506 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.507633587786 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 822.6 704.065955056 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 3.10617977528 290% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.7314354546 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.041666667 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8333333333 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.29166666667 5.21951772744 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.116192147087 0.243740707755 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0369363988339 0.0831039109588 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0328643954304 0.0758088955206 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0809390454947 0.150359130593 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.028773126647 0.0667264976115 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.1392134831 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.51 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 100.480337079 126% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.