The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Today we are no longer in need of prolonged horse-riding trips to reach to move around cities. Such convenience can be credited to the luxurious airplanes with turbojet engines and automobiles that made travelers move around conveniently and more safely to their destinations. Another remarkable innovation in information technology, smartphone, contributed to expanding the working boundaries of most people. Without question in my view, these two major technologies innovated in the past century, indeed, contributed to encouraging people to be stronger and more independent individuals, who could have never dreamed in a century ago and therefore I agree with the speaker.
When viewing the negative impacts of the advanced technology that made us live in a more luxurious and convenient social environment many would complain that because of driving habits we all became to develop weak and feeble muscles in our legs, and the lazy mind that always relying on the ability of fast and accurate mechanical calculation of computers prevent us from sharpening critical thinking skills. Of course, it is true to a certain point; however, there are far more merits than the disappointments that we come to have with the machines.
Modern day people who navigate over the sky with airplanes cannot be said they are much weaker human beings than those who had to rely on the natural abilities of horses to travel a long distance. The unimaginative giant flying machine allowed us to travel the world in a day and therefore those who maneuver airplanes to quickly land across the oceans are much stronger persons than those who had to tame horses to travel the world. The advent of automobiles also contributed to economic growth around the world that brought about material affluence. With this material prosperity, more individualistic ideas have become pervasive. Thus, modern technology has made great impacts on developing more independent individuals.
Moreover, one of the most innovation that has contributed to expanding the working boundaries of the most people, is smartphones. Traditional cell phones already have remarkably helped people to communicate; people can talk over cell phones regardless of their locations. However, smartphones have extended the working boundaries by enabling people to do many works that traditionally required several preconditions. People can now email, make presentations, and even make banking transactions whenever wherever they are through smartphones via applications. During the days when smartphones were not available, people had to be at a specific location where certain devices are available, and rely on other people for their assistance; they could not carry out such works without them.
As having seen in the above, modern day's people are much stronger and more independent in terms of their mind or abilities. Luxuries and conveniences that modern day people come to enjoy due to the cutting edge technology. This comfort has resulted to spoil our diligence to the extent that our minds lose their keen sense of judgment and physical strength.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
the essay is not exactly right on the topic. if you don't agree, need to give reasons like:
there is no correlation between luxuries and strong and independent individuals.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2569 1500
No. of Different Words: 268 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.286 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.88 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.24 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.368 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, of course, in my view, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2619.0 2235.4752809 117% => OK
No of words: 486.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.38888888889 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97350163411 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 215.323595506 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.547325102881 0.4932671777 111% => OK
syllable_count: 828.9 704.065955056 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.367459822 60.3974514979 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.842105263 118.986275619 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5789473684 23.4991977007 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63157894737 5.21951772744 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 7.80617977528 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.83258426966 83% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.114334564857 0.243740707755 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0365553543487 0.0831039109588 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0322509004743 0.0758088955206 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0565209637846 0.150359130593 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0298242601516 0.0667264976115 45% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.1392134831 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 48.8420337079 77% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.28 12.1639044944 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.23 8.38706741573 110% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 100.480337079 133% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.5 11.8971910112 139% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.7820224719 144% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.