The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning f

Essay topics:

The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

The luxuries have people feel a sense of inferiority, thus, weakening people’s

ability. Furthermore, the more people use machinery, the more people come to

depend on machinery. However, the luxuries and conveniences could be helpful

to people’s modern life in various aspects such as saving time and displaying

individual abilities.

Admittedly, in case of people who have no economic ability, the luxury

products might bring about their ruin. Although the luxuries are one of the

indirect methods reflecting people’s ability and success, those who are not rich

enough to buy the high price goods should have no interest in the goods. The

addiction to luxurious goods makes people the slave of materialism. People are

apt to express themselves with those additional materialistic things rather than

with their own abilities. Luxuries doing harm to retaining humans’ capabilities may

not only regard themselves as unable and weak but also lose wills to improve

themselves. In this way, the luxuries make general people not so much

independent human beings as slaves to the luxuries.

In addition, too much dependence on conveniences can make human

abilities weak. In case of a calculator, although an electric calculator is a useful

tool, it is also true that calculators can diminish people’s basic numerical abilities

gradually by no longer using their brain. Today, the standards of literacy have

increased, whereas the standards of numeracy have decreased. Also,

in the event that people go to the nearest place by cars, cars can make them

weaker and cause both traffic congestion and global warming. Therefore, habitual

reliance on convenient implements would finally deprive people of their

independent ability to work out problems, even trivial ones with which they are

always faced in life.

On the other hand, the luxuries would sometimes be good methods to

express people’s individuality more clearly. Celebrities-movie and sports

stars-are willing to wear expensive clothes and to use the most expensive car in

order to show off their social status and success to the public more impressively

and strongly. For example, David Beckham, the British footballer, who made

about 48,200,000 dollars in 2008, flaunted his wealth by giving a

bag of about 200,000 dollars to Victoria Beckham. By wearing expensive dresses,

such actresses as Jessica Marie Alba, Angelina Jolie Voight, and Paris Whitney

Hilton appear on Oscar nights, thus helping enhance their reputation as well as

Oscar’s prestige. This example shows that the luxuries have advantages to make

people stronger.

Moreover, technological innovation has produced lots of conveniences that

develop human abilities. In the past, there were many limitations of the human

intellectual abilities without using mechanical instruments. However, nowadays

calculators help people solve numerical calculations in much shorter time with

great accuracy. Moreover, computer programs whose functions are designed for

various purposes can provide people with more compound abilities to solve all

kinds of jobs. Contemporary amenities also allow us to utilize our

high-level qualities more efficiently by saving us time and labor. The most obvious

example would be transportations. Owing to cars and planes, people can cover

broader area within rather quick time, thus making people more productive.

Furthermore, all kinds of home appliances have made modern women deal not

only with house chores but also with outside jobs. In this sense, showing their

great talents, people can become more independent.

In sum, although it is true to some extent that the negative effects of the luxuries

and conveniences produce serious damages such as reducing basic logical

thinking abilities and having a sense of inferiority, both in modern society can

allow some people to be independent and strong. If they would control both good

and bad influences of the luxuries and conveniences better, people could make

good individuals by using these two methods more effectively.

Votes
Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...feriority, thus, weakening people's ability. Furthermore, the more people us...
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Suggestion: Ability
...ority, thus, weakening people's ability. Furthermore, the more people use machi...
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Line 3, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e use machinery, the more people come to depend on machinery. However, the luxuri...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Depend
...e machinery, the more people come to depend on machinery. However, the luxuries and...
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Line 5, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...xuries and conveniences could be helpful to people's modern life in various ...
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Line 7, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...pects such as saving time and displaying individual abilities. Admittedly, i...
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Suggestion: Individual
...s such as saving time and displaying individual abilities. Admittedly, in case of ...
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Line 13, column 71, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...who have no economic ability, the luxury products might bring about their ruin. A...
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Suggestion: Products
...have no economic ability, the luxury products might bring about their ruin. Although ...
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Line 15, column 40, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... products might bring about their ruin. Although the luxuries are one of the indirect...
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Line 15, column 76, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...in. Although the luxuries are one of the indirect methods reflecting people'...
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Line 17, column 86, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lity and success, those who are not rich enough to buy the high price goods shoul...
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Suggestion: Enough
... and success, those who are not rich enough to buy the high price goods should have...
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Line 19, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...hould have no interest in the goods. The addiction to luxurious goods makes peopl...
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Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Addiction
...d have no interest in the goods. The addiction to luxurious goods makes people the sla...
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Line 21, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ple the slave of materialism. People are apt to express themselves with those add...
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Line 23, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...itional materialistic things rather than with their own abilities. Luxuries doing...
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Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: With
...nal materialistic things rather than with their own abilities. Luxuries doing har...
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Line 25, column 89, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... retaining humans' capabilities may not only regard themselves as unable and...
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Line 27, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... and weak but also lose wills to improve themselves. In this way, the luxuries ma...
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Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Themselves
... weak but also lose wills to improve themselves. In this way, the luxuries make general...
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Line 29, column 70, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...luxuries make general people not so much independent human beings as slaves to th...
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Line 31, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Independent
...ries make general people not so much independent human beings as slaves to the luxuries....
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Line 35, column 64, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ependence on conveniences can make human abilities weak. In case of a calculator,...
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Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Abilities
...dence on conveniences can make human abilities weak. In case of a calculator, although...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 37, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hough an electric calculator is a useful tool, it is also true that calculators c...
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Line 39, column 92, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... people's basic numerical abilities gradually by no longer using their brain...
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Line 41, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Gradually
...ple's basic numerical abilities gradually by no longer using their brain. Today, ...
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Line 41, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...n. Today, the standards of literacy have increased, whereas the standards of nume...
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Line 43, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Increased
...oday, the standards of literacy have increased, whereas the standards of numeracy have...
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Line 43, column 67, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ndards of numeracy have decreased. Also, in the event that people go to the neare...
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Line 45, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...earest place by cars, cars can make them weaker and cause both traffic congestion...
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Line 47, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Weaker
...st place by cars, cars can make them weaker and cause both traffic congestion and g...
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Line 47, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
... and global warming. Therefore, habitual reliance on convenient implements would ...
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Line 49, column 72, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ts would finally deprive people of their independent ability to work out problems...
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Line 51, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...s, even trivial ones with which they are always faced in life. On the other ...
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...ven trivial ones with which they are always faced in life. On the other hand, ...
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Line 57, column 67, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...uries would sometimes be good methods to express people's individuality more...
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Line 59, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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...s would sometimes be good methods to express people's individuality more clearl...
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Line 59, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...re clearly. Celebrities-movie and sports stars-are willing to wear expensive clot...
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Line 61, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hes and to use the most expensive car in order to show off their social status an...
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Line 65, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: And
...ccess to the public more impressively and strongly. For example, David Beckham, t...
^^^
Line 65, column 75, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eckham, the British footballer, who made about 48,200,000 dollars in 2008, flaunt...
^^^^
Line 67, column 66, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in 2008, flaunted his wealth by giving a bag of about 200,000 dollars to Victoria...
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Line 69, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Bag
...008, flaunted his wealth by giving a bag of about 200,000 dollars to Victoria Be...
^^^
Line 69, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...a Beckham. By wearing expensive dresses, such actresses as Jessica Marie Alba, An...
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Line 71, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...Angelina Jolie Voight, and Paris Whitney Hilton appear on Oscar nights, thus help...
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Line 73, column 8, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'appears'.
Suggestion: appears
...lie Voight, and Paris Whitney Hilton appear on Oscar nights, thus helping enhance t...
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Line 73, column 8, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (Hilton) must be used with a third-person verb: 'appears'.
Suggestion: appears
...lie Voight, and Paris Whitney Hilton appear on Oscar nights, thus helping enhance t...
^^^^^^
Line 73, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ping enhance their reputation as well as Oscar's prestige. This example show...
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Line 75, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat the luxuries have advantages to make people stronger. Moreover, technol...
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Line 77, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: People
...the luxuries have advantages to make people stronger. Moreover, technological...
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Line 81, column 74, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...n has produced lots of conveniences that develop human abilities. In the past, th...
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Line 83, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Develop
...s produced lots of conveniences that develop human abilities. In the past, there wer...
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Line 83, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...there were many limitations of the human intellectual abilities without using mec...
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Line 85, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Intellectual
...e were many limitations of the human intellectual abilities without using mechanical inst...
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Line 85, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...echanical instruments. However, nowadays calculators help people solve numerical ...
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Line 87, column 79, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...l calculations in much shorter time with great accuracy. Moreover, computer progr...
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Suggestion: Great
...lculations in much shorter time with great accuracy. Moreover, computer programs w...
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Line 89, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rograms whose functions are designed for various purposes can provide people with...
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Line 91, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ith more compound abilities to solve all kinds of jobs. Contemporary amenities al...
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Suggestion: Kinds
...more compound abilities to solve all kinds of jobs. Contemporary amenities also al...
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Line 93, column 67, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...y amenities also allow us to utilize our high-level qualities more efficiently by...
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Suggestion: High-level
...enities also allow us to utilize our high-level qualities more efficiently by saving us...
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Line 95, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ving us time and labor. The most obvious example would be transportations. Owing ...
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Suggestion: Example
... us time and labor. The most obvious example would be transportations. Owing to cars...
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Line 97, column 77, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...ing to cars and planes, people can cover broader area within rather quick time, t...
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Suggestion: Broader
...to cars and planes, people can cover broader area within rather quick time, thus mak...
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Line 101, column 74, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...pliances have made modern women deal not only with house chores but also with out...
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Suggestion: Only
...nces have made modern women deal not only with house chores but also with outside...
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Line 103, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tside jobs. In this sense, showing their great talents, people can become more in...
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Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Great
...e jobs. In this sense, showing their great talents, people can become more indepen...
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Line 109, column 85, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat the negative effects of the luxuries and conveniences produce serious damages...
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Line 111, column 72, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s damages such as reducing basic logical thinking abilities and having a sense of...
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Line 113, column 81, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... inferiority, both in modern society can allow some people to be independent and ...
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Suggestion: Allow
...eriority, both in modern society can allow some people to be independent and stron...
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Line 115, column 49, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...me people to be independent and strong. If they would control both good and bad...
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Line 115, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
... strong. If they would control both good and bad influences of the luxuries and c...
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Line 117, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d conveniences better, people could make good individuals by using these two meth...
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Suggestion: Good
...nveniences better, people could make good individuals by using these two methods ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, whereas, for example, in addition, such as, as well as, it is true, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 14.8657303371 135% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 33.0505617978 91% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 58.6224719101 136% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3601.0 2235.4752809 161% => OK
No of words: 622.0 442.535393258 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.78938906752 5.05705443957 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.99398916966 4.55969084622 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91561380476 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 339.0 215.323595506 157% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54501607717 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 1077.3 704.065955056 153% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 11.0 4.99550561798 220% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 14.0 4.38483146067 319% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5635033291 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.033333333 118.986275619 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7333333333 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.76666666667 5.21951772744 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 54.0 4.97078651685 1086% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 80.0 7.80617977528 1025% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15029124275 0.243740707755 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0446817732001 0.0831039109588 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.034913640884 0.0758088955206 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0327890115294 0.150359130593 22% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0320862292973 0.0667264976115 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.1392134831 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.3 12.1639044944 134% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.17 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 179.0 100.480337079 178% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.