People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
People's behavior has been an intriguing research topic over the years in order to determine what drives behavior, whether that be external or internal forces. The statement claims that people's behavior is largely influenced by external forces, which is true in most cases due to societal expectations of how people should act. From a young age, individuals are taught how they should behave in different situations, including peer groups, professional settings, family environment, etc. However, internal forces do occasionally override preconceived and socially acceptable behaviors.
Take, for example, students in elementary school, who are learning proper classroom etiquette. They are taught to raise their hand when they want to speak or go to the bathroom, treat their peers with kindness and treat their teacher with respect. However, their behavior is completely different during recesses or on the playground, often times much more noisy, rowdy and disrespectful. The juxtaposition between the two behaviors suggests that students' behavior is largely based on the environment or situation they are in. Since they do not have a constant, unchanging behavior pattern throughout different settings, it indicates that external forces dictate how they behave.
However, strong enough internal forces have the ability to determine people's behavior, regardless of their environment. For example, a friend of mine, let's call her Jane for anonymity, has been struggling with anxiety for the past year. She refuses to go out, alienated many friends, and avoids going to class out of fear. In this case, the entirety of Jane's behavior is dictated by strong internal forces of anxiety, despite a welcoming environment created by her friends and social network, suggesting that her behavior is largely determined by forces that she has created. In addition, internal forces can also cause people to behave suddenly irrational. For example, some people impulsively quit their jobs out of anger towards their bosses. Often times this occurs when people feel strong emotions and are unable to contain themselves.
People are taught how to behave appropriately in different situations, which, for the most part, they abide by. The example with the school children shows how individuals learn what is considered appropriate in different settings, and how they change behavior according to their environment. However, when emotions are involved, people tend to act based on internal forces, regardless of what is deemed socially acceptable. This is exemplified by Jane and people who act irrationally based on emotion. Thus, I agree with the claim that people's behaviors are dictated by external forces, in most cases. However, people occasionally forgo what is socially acceptable when it comes to their feelings, and act according to how they are feeling.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 447, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...between the two behaviors suggests that students behavior is largely based on the enviro...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, thus, for example, in addition, in most cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2421.0 2235.4752809 108% => OK
No of words: 439.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.51480637813 5.05705443957 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82263139475 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 215.323595506 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.50569476082 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 736.2 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.3321949615 60.3974514979 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.045454545 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9545454545 23.4991977007 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.09090909091 5.21951772744 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190667741401 0.243740707755 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0627061646937 0.0831039109588 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0390963308357 0.0758088955206 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125184731456 0.150359130593 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0169245118967 0.0667264976115 25% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 12.1639044944 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 100.480337079 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.