People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Human behaviors can be classified into two types: instantaneous behaviors and habitual ones. Instantaneous behaviors take place when people do not have a complete control over their actions due to some reasons such as shocking, unexpected happenings. On the other hand, habitual behaviors are shaped for a long period of time through education, discipline, and experience. Some people argue that though habitual behaviors are largely determined by external forces, those momentums cannot influence instantaneous behaviors. However, these beliefs has some flaws in the sense that there are many counterexamples for both concepts.
It is true that external factors can change one’s habitual behaviors. Think about how we organize our daily life routinely. We get up around eight A.M., commute to work in a suit, say hello to colleagues. All such behaviors are not natural; those have been educated and reinforced through the mechanism of rewards and punishments. Society induce young people to behave in proper ways through disciplines by teachers, instructors or mentors. If such endeavors did not exist, we might not know what to do for the most of situation we face like basic communications. Regarding this, explicitly enforced behaviors are helpful for people since they help them deal with routine situations. However, those are not the only factor that shape our way of living.
Sometimes people intentionally break so-called ‘desired protocol’ established by society, hoping to notice others their feelings of anger, frustrations, and so on. Consider the how artists reacted to the decision of commencing Vietnam War in the 1960s. They deliberately violated the laws, codes, or manners accepted by society to show that they do not agree with the decision. Those ‘Hippy’ people smoked weed, had intercourses outside and male ones grew their hair to show their intention to go back to the natural state, where there is no danger and risk of war. None of such behaviors are determined or intimated by external groups, and rather, they were decided collectively and spontaneously by the people who had the same ideas and wanted to express what they want to show. Hence, what the speaker has said might not be applied to general cases.
Meanwhile, most people allege that external authorities cannot control people’s unconscious minds since those mostly depends on innate desires or instincts. Unfortunately, history says there are possibility of manipulations by government or regime. North Korea, the country ruled by the dictatorship party with the tightest controlling over people’s attitude and behaviors give us the most live, concrete examples. People living there, when they asked about any issues, response mechanically and conclude with an encomium for the authority and their leader, Kim, Jong-Un. They seem to truly believe that the communism is the most superior political system in the world, even though most of them had not higher-level educations on the topic. This situation warns us that with sufficient time, resource, and power, our mind can be brainwashed and unconsciously obey the reign of the party.
Therefore, it might not be true that both types of behaviors can be controlled completely by ourselves or external forces. Rather, there are endless interaction between innate and external entities, and there are tensions and competitions for the driving seat of our mind.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 312, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...abitual behaviors are shaped for a long period of time through education, discipline, and expe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 346, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'induces'.
Suggestion: induces
...ism of rewards and punishments. Society induce young people to behave in proper ways t...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: THE_HOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'how'?
Suggestion: how
...nger, frustrations, and so on. Consider the how artists reacted to the decision of comm...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
hence, however, if, regarding, so, therefore, while, such as, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 14.8657303371 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 33.0505617978 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 67.0 58.6224719101 114% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2914.0 2235.4752809 130% => OK
No of words: 535.0 442.535393258 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.44672897196 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98084489409 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 309.0 215.323595506 144% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.577570093458 0.4932671777 117% => OK
syllable_count: 899.1 704.065955056 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.2370786517 128% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.7256195529 60.3974514979 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.076923077 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5769230769 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.21951772744 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 5.13820224719 175% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.153347021788 0.243740707755 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0384467191286 0.0831039109588 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0312986348087 0.0758088955206 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0824544663708 0.150359130593 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0330551361173 0.0667264976115 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.8420337079 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.33 12.1639044944 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.29 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 158.0 100.480337079 157% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.