People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The author contends that behavior of a person is generally determined by external forces rather than a product of their own actions. To elucidate this point let us take the illustration of a man who is furious at a shop keeper, the reason being that the goods that the vendor packed were not the ones ordered by that person. Therefore, it is not the fault of the person as he gave the correct order, instead it is the vendor's mistake who delivered the goods wrong. Thus the anger that has made the poor guy's face red is not due to his own making but the reaction to the other person's wrong doing.
However, let us flip this coin to visualize the other side. In the same example given, if this person understood that being humans we are bound to make some errors, and getting ferocious at this act of the vendon is just going to have a bad impact on his own body, he is going to be irritated all day by spoiling his own mood and also the vendor's mood. He could sensible control his reaction and instead of reacting, he could have responded. This suttle nuance in te effect of these two words make all the difference. As the action was done and getting angy is futile now, so why not think and respond back to the vendor in a calm way and explain the consequences of this act for his business which he will surely assimilate. Display of wrath and shouting is an inane way o deal with a problem.
In order to incorporate more details to my opinion, we also have a famous short story which talks about the dinner at a friend's house. When all the friends including the hosts are around the table ,a cockroach comes and sits on the table. Sighting this, the lady starts to scream and leaves the chair in hasty manner which makes a mess on the table, all the drinks spilled out, deserts and eateries out of the bowls and the plates and crockery into pieced lying on the floor. Looking at her panicked reaction everyone starts to panic and leave their chairs. A waiter who was standing and saw all the chaos happening ,inverted an empty bowl over the cockroach and took it out calmly. The point here is that the situation for everyone was the same but response was not.
Hence to conclude, the forces acting around us do put us in a situation where our true behavor to deal with the situation becomes evident. But it will be wrong to say that our behavior is determined by the external environment. If external forces were the determining factors then subjecting different people to the same situation should give out the same behavior. The fact that everyon's way of dealing same situations differently is the product of the internal forces.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 25, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The author contends that behavior of a person is generally determ...
^^
Line 1, column 467, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... mistake who delivered the goods wrong. Thus the anger that has made the poor guys f...
^^^^
Line 3, column 340, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'vendors'' or 'vendor's'?
Suggestion: vendors'; vendor's
...y by spoiling his own mood and also the vendors mood. He could sensible control his rea...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 622, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a calm way" with adverb for "calm"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ot think and respond back to the vendor in a calm way and explain the consequences of this ac...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...including the hosts are around the table ,a cockroach comes and sits on the table....
^^
Line 5, column 616, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...standing and saw all the chaos happening ,inverted an empty bowl over the cockroac...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...e was the same but response was not. Hence to conclude, the forces acting around u...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 229, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...determined by the external environment. If external forces were the determining fa...
^^
Line 7, column 276, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rnal forces were the determining factors then subjecting different people to the...
^^
Line 7, column 293, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the determining factors then subjecting different people to the same situation s...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, however, if, look, so, then, therefore, thus
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 33.0505617978 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2161.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 482.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.48340248963 5.05705443957 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33664214715 2.79657885939 84% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.529045643154 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 666.0 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 23.0359550562 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.6379569903 60.3974514979 97% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.05 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1 23.4991977007 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.1 5.21951772744 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 5.13820224719 175% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.105773093824 0.243740707755 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0313396199383 0.0831039109588 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0325638964323 0.0758088955206 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0624629233832 0.150359130593 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0128684980146 0.0667264976115 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.1392134831 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 48.8420337079 131% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.0 12.1639044944 74% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 100.480337079 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.2143820225 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.