Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Family is undeniably a crucial part of human life as the first people around us consisted of them. A controversial argument that is often raised regarding this topic is whether the extended family is as important as it was in the past or not. If I were obliged to answer, I would think that we pay less attention than before to it for several reasons, on a few of which I will elaborate subsequently.
The first reason corroborating my view is that due to the chaotic life that we all have today, we do not have enough time to spend it with our extended family. In addition, in a busy lifestyle that we all suffer from, it is crystal clear that we would choose to spend our time with a friend whom we have more hobby in common and we can enjoy more as they are at my age and we have memories to share, socialize, and laugh. To illustrate, I have very limited leisure time as a manager of a pharmacy company. When I want to rest or have fun, I call my friends to go out for dinner or arrange a short trip to somewhere we think would be enjoyable. Therefore, I do not see my extended family as my parents saw their extended family and somehow it could be considered that they are less important.
The second rationale why I advocate this point of view lies in the fact that in the past families used to live in the same town. Furthermore, cities were not this big and all the population of one town knew each other as most of them were related by blood. However, today families are separated as they migrate to another town for several reasons like the job, weather, etc. My own experience is a compelling example of this. Originally I am from Mazandaran but my family moved to Tehran hence my father had to work here. It is not time-consuming for me to visit my grandparents or cousins. Furthermore, I have to spend a lot of money to get there. As you can see it is more convenient for me to see my friends instead.
To make a long story short, the extended family is not as important as it was before due to the fact that we do not have much in common with them as we have with our friends to share our time and energy. Additionally, families are separated from each other due to the migration or because cities become bigger and it takes a lot of effort to see them anytime we desire to.
Comments
I'm happy to find people…
I'm happy to find people with the same passion as me in this forum. I also joined the blog and made a lot of great friends.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 348, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...e hobby in common and we can enjoy more as they are at my age and we have memories...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, regarding, second, so, therefore, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 70.0 43.0788530466 162% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1859.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 436.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.26376146789 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5387950249 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483944954128 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 624.6 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.4595081944 48.9658058833 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.277777778 100.406767564 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2222222222 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.151099454357 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0510180594478 0.076458572812 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0484446459541 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104146080967 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0295570642451 0.0645574589148 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 11.7677419355 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.72 10.9000537634 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.29 8.01818996416 91% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.