Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Most of the famous entertainers and athletes have a complicated life. They have to move from one place to the other. As a result, they have to live separated from their family. I believe that their public and fans should respect their privacy and let them concentrate doing their work. In the following essay, I will explain with two reasons why I think so.
First of all, famous entertainers and athletes spend most of the time traveling around the world doing their job. Paparazzi are continuously trying to make news with their live. This has become in a torture for these persons because they do not have the opportunity to live their own life. Their privacy has been ruined. For instance, my brother in love is a professional soccer player. He plays in the Real Madrid, one of the most famous soccer team of the Spain. He was visiting a restaurant in Miami Beach with my sister and they could not enter the place because was full of people waiting for interview him. My sister is always telling me that their family do not have any privacy.
Second, famous entertainer and athletes have to dedicate time on practice their work or exercise achieve an excellent performance. Sometimes they do not have time to do it because they have the pressure of the news. Most of the television channels want to get the premise of the new. About ten years ago, I knew a famous entertainer. He used to work as a comedian in one the most famous shows of the TV. He confessed to me that every time he was dressing for the show he had to close the door of his room because many people came into their dressing room and did not let dress him. They did not have his privacy to prepare himself for the show
Finally, I strongly believe that privacy is very important in people’s live. Famous entertainer, actors, athletes and people in general must deserve privacy because they have family and also a career to performance in a responsible way.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...plain with two reasons why I think so. First of all, famous entertainers and at...
^^
Line 4, column 222, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a responsible way" with adverb for "responsible"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...family and also a career to performance in a responsible way.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, second, so, for instance, i think, in general, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1595.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 346.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6098265896 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4870962385 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 509.4 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.8048527677 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 75.9523809524 100.406767564 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4761904762 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.267115098723 0.236089414692 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0918863824636 0.076458572812 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0699143894134 0.0737576698707 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183914445355 0.150856017488 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0323993374844 0.0645574589148 50% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.16 10.9000537634 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 86.8835125448 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.