Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Each country has its aboriginal or native properties like a rich culture, tradition, entertainments, entertainers, athletes, and so forth. The history of a country has been constructed based on these valuable properties. So they deserve public attention and respect. But the Main question raises today is that whether entertainers and athletes have enough privacy that they deserve or not? However, I agree with the statement that they deserve to have more privacy than they have now. in this way, they would be able to concentrate on their activities and live with their families without any disturbance and rumors.
First of all, as I mentioned before, the entertainers and athletes need to concentrate on their activity to acquire the desired outcome. Nowadays, because of social network expansion, they could not focus on their job, and often they get annoyed by false interfere and Judgement of others. Hence they could not focus on their activity, and this issue makes them disappointment. Take Kanosh Rostami, famous athletes of Iran in the lift. Because of such harmful, interferes, and judgments, he preferred to practice far away from this hostile space to have more concentration on his practice . as a result of such wrong decision led to adverse influence on his focus. It means he had missed attaining reward because He has no privacy that he deserved.
Second, they could not even have a calm life with their family members because of such ridicule disturbance rumors. Today people without thinking about adverse influence and unfortunate consequences of rumors make them percolate from a person to another. Not even entertainers and athletes but other famous people from all over the world, their families member are under pressure of these rumors. We have many famous entertainer and athletes that left the country and would rather be a refugee of other countries to have their privacy that they deserve for and preserve their and their families nervous and spiritual calm. take many football athletes, for instance, that prefer to be a refugee in an unfamiliar foreign country instead of their provenance.
In a nutshell, I have discussed our entertainer's and athlete's privacy problems, and I have presented some reasons to approve the credit of my point of view. Hence I suppose that entertainers and athletes deserve more privacy today.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: In
...o have more privacy than they have now. in this way, they would be able to concent...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...alse interfere and Judgement of others. Hence they could not focus on their activity,...
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Suggestion: .
... have more concentration on his practice . as a result of such wrong decision led ...
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Suggestion: As
...ve more concentration on his practice . as a result of such wrong decision led to ...
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Message: “as” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ve more concentration on his practice . as a result of such wrong decision led to ...
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Suggestion: Take
...ir families nervous and spiritual calm. take many football athletes, for instance, t...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...approve the credit of my point of view. Hence I suppose that entertainers and athlete...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, second, so, for instance, i suppose, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1993.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 381.0 407.700716846 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.23097112861 4.8611393121 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41805628031 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78361754383 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524934383202 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 628.2 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.5308319204 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.65 100.406767564 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.05 20.6045352989 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7 5.45110844103 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.298864582899 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100913468441 0.076458572812 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123013415799 0.0737576698707 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212953570671 0.150856017488 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0886215298363 0.0645574589148 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 10.9000537634 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 78.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.