Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations.
Nowadays, millions of people tend to enjoy leisure activities rather than performing national services or other country's call. I strongly agree with this statement because this trend is mainly driven by a peaceful era since the end of World War Second and the fast-growing development of tourism programs.
Firstly, after the end of the Second World War, no other international conflict leads to the next multinational war. After the 1940's period, the conflict of two or more nations was not escalated to further multi-nation war. This resulting every people can live in peace in the years ahead and do not have to think about defending their nation. They can now think about something else, like making a better life which leads people to have more tourism activities more often than a few decades back. There is no more military service oblige by the government also making these leisure things leverage. Therefore, more people want to go to the tourist spot rather than spend time to do military exercise or public services.
The massive development of tourism activities also makes these things worse. With the government's need to add national earning, they create multiple national tourism campaign in which they are now promoting includes the use of celebrities or influence to support their agenda. People now are easliy attracted with the celebrities as their role model, so this type of government's programs are proof to be successful to persuade people to visit the tourism places more often than it used to be in the past decades. For example, the Indonesian government create a national tourism porgram to be promoted not only to its residents but also to attract internation tourists. This program include 7 different tourist destination with the full package of transportaion and accomodation and it has full support from government. These situation could easily urge more people to do such enjyoable activities rather than doing national services.
To sump up, the way we live today is more affiliated into a more leisure activity than serious service due to the peaceful era and government programs.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 710, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'destination' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'destinations'.
Suggestion: destinations
...his program include 7 different tourist destination with the full package of transportaion ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 819, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this situation' or 'These situations'?
Suggestion: This situation; These situations
...nd it has full support from government. These situation could easily urge more people to do suc...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, second, so, therefore, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 2.0 11.0286738351 18% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 43.0788530466 44% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1776.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 345.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14782608696 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70996046803 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.544927536232 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 562.5 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.6717643783 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.4 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 20.6045352989 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.33333333333 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.168142242958 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0580376584367 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0490335496002 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103741731624 0.150856017488 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0222958127226 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 11.7677419355 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 86.8835125448 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.