Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations. Use details and examples to support your answer.
In this modern era, life requirements are become more difficult forcing people to work more than old days. For this reason, I totally agree that people are spending less time enjoying their life. I feel this way for two reasons which I will examine in this essay.
First of all, nowadays employees can complete their work from home. Since the internet was invented and computers are created, people can access their work easily and finish it anywhere and anytime. Thus, they will spend more time working and their pleasure time will be less. Studies show that thanks to computers and cell phones employees spend more time fulfilling their duty obligation outside their workplace. This is best demonstrated by my personal example. Currently, I am working at an investment firm where my duty starts at 9 o'clock and ends at 5 o'clock. Even when my work time is finished I am usually forced to complete unfinished work at my home. Consequently, I have less time to do enjoyable activities with my friends and family. Moreover, everyone in my company does the same in order to get more money. As a result, our time is occupied with more work than having enjoyment in life. I am sure that if I do not feel more obligated to do my work I will spend more time in entertainment activities.
Second, the free time for delighting is used for personal development. In particular, instead of going to the park to spend time in lovely nature, we go walking and running to become stronger and healthier in order to face and overcome challenges in work. Hence, our pastimes are dedicated to development rather than having fun. For instance, I often go to the gym three times per week in my free time to build my body and become fitter and mentally strong to resist pressure and anxiety during my work day. So, by doing this my pleasure time is less. I believe that if I do not have to develop a new strategy to stand against work stress I would have more fun and happy times in my life.
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that at this time people are not working hard, instead, they have more fun in their lives. I believe this way because worker usually spends their time off at home completing unfinished tasks. Also, they invest their time off for personal development.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 537, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: o'clock
...vestment firm where my duty starts at 9 oclock and ends at 5 oclock. Even when my work...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 558, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: o'clock
...y duty starts at 9 oclock and ends at 5 oclock. Even when my work time is finished I a...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 566, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...tarts at 9 oclock and ends at 5 oclock. Even when my work time is finished I am usually f...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 297, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...heir time off for personal development.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, hence, if, moreover, second, so, thus, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in particular, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1870.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 402.0 407.700716846 99% => OK
Chars per words: 4.65174129353 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5173588573 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504975124378 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 599.4 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.9992080843 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.3043478261 100.406767564 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4782608696 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.21739130435 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.251508222648 0.236089414692 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0931315001874 0.076458572812 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0671411088445 0.0737576698707 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167823883405 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329325131945 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.2 11.7677419355 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.39 10.9000537634 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 86.8835125448 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.