Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Humans are social creatures which means they need to collaborate with others to achieve their goals. As people are entering a new era, they need to develop many skills to be able to overcome many unique and challenging problems they face. Some people believe that studying hard is more important for people to succeed while others hold the opposite opinion. Personally, I believe maintaining well-established relations with people is both beneficial and informative to do well in their careers. This essay will discuss this matter.
First of all, the modern world has brought many challenges to people's lives and in order to solve many problems they need to be equipped with essential tools and knowledge. As they mature, they need to enhance their potential abilities to find the best possible solutions to those problems. Students are taught many useful concepts and problem-solving approaches while they are at school. Although, studying is an indispensable part of their lives, people need more than science and mathematics. They must learn to communicate and collaborate with others properly. Not only will students be able to share their knowledge, but they also enjoy working with others on the same projects to fulfill their purposes. My own experience is a compelling example of this fact. When I was an undergraduate student, I had to live in the university dormitory with three classmates. As studying became harder, we formed a study group to help each other with various subjects and courses. During that period, we worked on many class projects and papers and we learned a lot from each other which was absolutely an invaluable experience.
In addition, another significant point to indicate is that workplaces are different than schools and universities. Employees are expected to do their best do assist their companies to thrive and succeed which is undoubtedly a mutual relation. If companies are successful, their employees gain satisfying results and their wages may be raised. In order to achieve their goals, people need to cooperate with their colleagues and treat them with respect. As a result they will learn the real value of a mutually beneficial relation. For example, when I first started working as a software developer at a well-known company, I had some skills but I could not manage a big project on my own. So, my colleagues and supervisor helped me to learn the basics of project management and scheduling. I learned to organize my tasks accurately to accomplish them. A few month later, they were satisfied with my performance and I was given the responsibility of a separate team of three engineers. For this reason, relationships with people specially with co-workers has numerous advantages.
In conclusion, although education and studying hard is very important, but people need to learn to collaborate with others on projects. They also need to maintain fine relations with their colleagues in order to learn from them and have a successful career which in my opinion is more important than studying hard.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 85, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...dicate is that workplaces are different than schools and universities. Employees are...
^^^^
Line 5, column 453, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...colleagues and treat them with respect. As a result they will learn the real value...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, well, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 15.1003584229 152% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 13.8261648746 159% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 54.0 43.0788530466 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2561.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 496.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16330645161 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90209921578 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 212.727598566 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504032258065 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 784.8 618.680645161 127% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 33.6796821193 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.8518518519 100.406767564 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3703703704 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.62962962963 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187297829775 0.236089414692 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0568996658441 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0589842018848 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.144082535885 0.150856017488 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.042887017193 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 10.9000537634 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 86.8835125448 154% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.