Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays receiving proper education in school seems to be essential. Because of this, some parents use different kinds of persuasive techniques to encourage their children to score high marks. One of these ways is giving money, which I, personally, do not agree with. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I try to explain in the following essay.
First of all, learning new things and skills is important by itself. If parents offer their children money for acquiring good marks, the children will not perceive the value of knowledge. Under this circumstance, the students, instead of paying attention to their lessons, concentrate on the ways they could get money from their parents. Having said that, however, I think the other ways to cheer children up for their good grades, such as going to the zoo or cinema, are not as destructive as giving money to them.
Secondly, the students should learn that they study for the future of themselves and they should not expect encouragement for every single task that they do properly. Understanding this fact not only help them to improve their grades but also help them to be an independent character in their personal lives. In other words, when a child receives money for getting good marks he starts to believe that his parents are those who really profit. My own experience is a compelling example of this. I remember well my cousin who his father gave him a significant amount of money for each achievement he had in school. As a result, he got used to this procedure and even when he was a grown man he was constantly seeking praise from others. And of course, this behavior bothered his wife and his acquaintances.
To conclude, I strongly believe that although some of the persuasive techniques might be useful and noteworthy, giving children money for their high marks in school is not a good idea. More importantly because money can shadow the other values in life and accordingly the children miss the chance to have a healthy and happy life at their very young ages.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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...I try to explain in the following essay. First of all, learning new things and sk...
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... as destructive as giving money to them. Secondly, the students should learn that...
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Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...clude, I strongly believe that although some of the persuasive techniques might be useful a...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...and happy life at their very young ages.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, well, i feel, i think, of course, such as, as a result, first of all, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1701.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 348.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88793103448 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81078552359 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 212.727598566 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.583333333333 0.524837075471 111% => OK
syllable_count: 506.7 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 105.89077931 48.9658058833 216% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 121.5 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8571428571 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.2857142857 5.45110844103 207% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.387577316802 0.236089414692 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.12025389432 0.076458572812 157% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0845397444076 0.0737576698707 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226721516235 0.150856017488 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0165522295582 0.0645574589148 26% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 11.7677419355 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 10.9000537634 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.