Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The role of children in one family becomes much more important as they step into the age for school. The apple of parents’ eyes as we talk about this saying, are able to earn money from parent for each high grade they get in school. In my opinion, I think this phenomenon of encouragement and reward from parent will lead to both positive and negative effects, for which the criticism shall be taken into consideration more.
Firstly, look on the bright side, better confidence of children in this way are being built up as well as highly positive motivation of studying. As a matter of fact, one research indicates, most of children in this age definitely are not fans of school, instead of being attracted more by games, food and television. Hence, parent by offering money to children’s success on getting high mark, obviously give children an optimistically phenomenon that they can do great in studying rather than sticking with junk food and soap opera still.
Secondly, critically speaking, parent offering children money negatively promotes comparing phenomenon. Therefore, this phenomenon potentially twist children’s value by leading it into comparison instead of lucubration. Less joyful of accomplishment children will get from studying, but it tends to be a satisfaction of earning money in a worst way. What’s more of forming this bad habit as children later on step into society, it is certainly harmful to think about money-earning as a prior value to anything else that those wrong values are formed by parents’ wrong decision.
In conclusion, as nowadays some parent start offering children money for each high grade they get, beneficial way of doing this lead to highly grow in children’s confidence and motivation of learning. However, a baneful influence should be feared more than its positive influence that parents’ decision cause more harmful among current school children by causing comparing phenomenon as well as extremely bad to children’s future.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 191, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the children') or simply say ''most children''.
Suggestion: most of the children; most children
...matter of fact, one research indicates, most of children in this age definitely are not fans of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 423, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('optimistically') instead an adjective, or a noun ('phenomenon') instead of another adjective.
...ting high mark, obviously give children an optimistically phenomenon that they can do great in studying rath...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 343, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
...o be a satisfaction of earning money in a worst way. What's more of forming ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, hence, however, look, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, well, i think, in conclusion, as a matter of fact, as well as, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1702.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 320.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31875 4.8611393121 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07123117617 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 212.727598566 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.55625 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 522.0 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 49.3994489398 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.833333333 100.406767564 141% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.6666666667 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 13.25 5.45110844103 243% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.328471424025 0.236089414692 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140252391351 0.076458572812 183% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0897863886669 0.0737576698707 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.228229601639 0.150856017488 151% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0566716702676 0.0645574589148 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.28 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.