Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time.
Many young people say that they want independence from their parents as soon as possible. In some sense, this position is understandable because the young can protect their own privacy in daily life by being independent. However, I still think that living with parents for a longer period is advantageous for the reasons below.
First and foremost, young adults can save a lot of time and money by staying their family home. Being independence costs a lot. One should pay a rent, grocery, and other fees by oneself. On the contrary, one can split the bill with the family members. In the same vein, one can save much time for chore by sharing responsibility with family. According to the recent statistics in South Korea, people who live alone spend living costs as much twice as people who live with family spend. Also, those who live alone spend three times more time than those who live with family doing mundane houseworks. In this regard, living with family saves both time and spending.
Moreover, the young share moments with their family by living in the same house, which is beneficial to relationship within families. Especially, the young who are too busy to spend extra time with their family might have difficulty to make good memories with their family. For instance, since my sister works for a consulting company where is extremely busy, my parents and I barely met her when she lived independently near her company. However, after she moved in to our home, our family has spent much time together during having a breakfast and a dinner everyday. Thanks to the time spending together, our family bond is now stronger than ever before. In short, living together gives more chances to spend time with each other, which in turn enhances relationship among family members.
In conclusion, despite some benefits from being independent, I firmly believe that young adults get more merits as they live longer time with their families. Living with family enables the young to save their budget, liberates them from burdensome house chores, and ensures family time.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 194, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ocery, and other fees by oneself. On the contrary, one can split the bill with th...
^^
Line 9, column 528, Rule ID: HAVE_A_BREAKFAST[1]
Message: When we speak of types of meals, the article is not required: 'having breakfast'.
Suggestion: having breakfast
...ily has spent much time together during having a breakfast and a dinner everyday. Thanks to the ti...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 560, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
... during having a breakfast and a dinner everyday. Thanks to the time spending together, ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, for instance, in conclusion, in short
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 43.0788530466 72% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1740.0 1977.66487455 88% => OK
No of words: 348.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.43953839938 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540229885057 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 546.3 618.680645161 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.4400902933 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.5789473684 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3157894737 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.42105263158 5.45110844103 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.521711554515 0.236089414692 221% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.162287517286 0.076458572812 212% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105260467472 0.0737576698707 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.356031147968 0.150856017488 236% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0728117255521 0.0645574589148 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.