TPO1 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
All around the world universities and colleges are always dealing with how they should allot their budget to various activities. In this regard, some people are of the opinion that developing classes and libraries has numerous and valuable advantages that universities should allocate all financial support just for them. On the other extreme of the rope, the overwhelming majority of people think that sports and social activities have significant effects on society. Hence, these activities should be supported as equal to classes and libraries. While two groups take their positions, personally speaking, I believe that the latter group carries more weight. In the following paragraph, I will cogently explain my reasons to justify my points of view.
As the first and paramount reason, universities’ financial support of sports clubs and social activities has direct and considerable impacts on students’ performance. In other words, paying attention to sports and social activities helps students reduce their stress and anxieties; consequently, they can concentrate on their tasks and duties remarkably. For instance, empirical research conducted by some master students at many universities shows that departments paying attention to students’ physical and mental health in addition to developing their social abilities such as teamwork ability have students who can control their stress in critical situations, bear responsibilities efficiently, and complete their projects properly. Actually, in sports clubs, students can do various exercises such as yoga and listen to interesting music helping them relieve their stress and pressure daily of life. They also strengthen their minds and obtain more positive energy encouraging them to deal with unprecedented challenges and any difficulties in their life enthusiastically. As a matter of fact, students develop some parts of these skills and abilities in sports and social groups rather than in libraries and study halls. Therefore, the more universities invest money in sports clubs and social activities, the more efficient and high-performance students they will have.
The second reason is, assigning money to sports clubs and developing social activity groups encourages students to find other sides of their personality and skills. To be more specific, these activities help students discover their hide talents. For example, four years ago, when I was a student, not only was I ashamed to talk to my classmates, but I also didn’t have the self-confidence to present a lecture in class. After the first year, the administration of the university implemented supportive strategies such as developing music groups. I joined the music group and found many friends who helped me be more sociable than in the past. As time goes on, communicating with other group members and learning academic music helped me know that I can play the guitar and sing in live concerts. Nowadays, I work as a musician for a music institute and play the guitar for a very famous music band in my city. As a result, if my university hadn’t developed an effective long-term strategy, neither could I discover my artistic abilities as a singer and musician, nor choose an interesting job and earn money.
In conclusion, allocating equal budget to sports clubs and social groups play a pivotal role in relieving students’ stress, empowering their mental ability, and improving their performance in accomplishing their duties. Moreover, students can discover their talents and develop their skills to achieve their dreams.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 43, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'sport'.
Suggestion: sport
... conclusion, allocating equal budget to sports clubs and social groups play a pivotal ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a matter of fact, as a result, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 35.0 13.8261648746 253% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3048.0 1977.66487455 154% => OK
No of words: 550.0 407.700716846 135% => OK
Chars per words: 5.54181818182 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84273464058 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0763851278 2.67179642975 115% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 212.727598566 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 927.0 618.680645161 150% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.3567628204 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.52173913 100.406767564 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9130434783 20.6045352989 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.4347826087 5.45110844103 173% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177175561739 0.236089414692 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0627059509006 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0593464142834 0.0737576698707 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122674854594 0.150856017488 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0796294541615 0.0645574589148 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 11.7677419355 141% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 58.1214874552 68% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.15 10.9000537634 139% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.05 8.01818996416 113% => OK
difficult_words: 149.0 86.8835125448 171% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.