Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products, is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville. The store should prove to be very successful: Nature's Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where residents lead healthy lives, and clearly Plainsville is such an area. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. Finally, Plainsville's schoolchildren represent a new generation of potential customers: these schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness-for-life program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.
In this augument the author urge to say that the resident of plainville are more enthusiastic in taking care of their health thereafter it is better bussiness for fitness store. He also claims that due to the high population of the town , the buniness will be booming in the near future. I find this argument unconvincing for some reasons.
First, the authur hypothesize that due to the higher sales of running shoes and excercise equipments, opening a new fitness store wil be profitable. It can also be assume that despite of the store location being situated in Plainville the maximun buyers are from its nearby town,perhaps the shopkeeper is selling online of some e-commerce website. Speaking of excercise equipments, it is also possible that the buyers are mostly gym managers that buy in wholesale quantity rather than citizen of the same town. Finally, there is no data given about the sales comparison between previous and latest facial year so it would not presumptin to conclude that bigger sales within that area leads to bigger profit for uncoming business.
Second, author states that the local health club which was on it's verge of closing down five years ago has reecent increase in their memberships. This speculation is unwarranted. It is equally possible to assume that the reason behind the closing of the club could be lack of facalities they provide or the lack of financial funds that is needed to rent the place. The point being, it is the reason for the closure is not states by the authur. Hence, the authot presuppose that closing of health is because of less members enrolling int he club.
Finally, authur used the overgeneralisation flaw which staes that just because soemthing happened to other fitness stores in Plainville, the same will happen to the new business. Also by emnploying fitness program from the school children will not increase their sales as they do not earn enough to buy expensive equipments and even for the comodities liek running shoes or bike they need to seek permission from their parents who might or might not invest in their ideas.
In conclusion, this is a vague and ambiguous argument. In order to strenghten this augument, the author should at very least be conducting a survey, having participants of different age groups, asking about what they like to buy and how much are they willing to pay for their health and fitness.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: In this augument the author urge to say that the resident of plainville are more enthusiastic in taking care of their health thereafter it is better bussiness for fitness store.
Error: bussiness Suggestion: business
Error: augument Suggestion: augment
Error: plainville Suggestion: plaintive
Sentence: He also claims that due to the high population of the town , the buniness will be booming in the near future.
Error: buniness Suggestion: business
Sentence: First, the authur hypothesize that due to the higher sales of running shoes and excercise equipments, opening a new fitness store wil be profitable.
Error: excercise Suggestion: exercise
Error: authur Suggestion: author
Error: wil Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It can also be assume that despite of the store location being situated in Plainville the maximun buyers are from its nearby town,perhaps the shopkeeper is selling online of some e-commerce website.
Error: website Suggestion: west
Error: e-commerce Suggestion: commerce
Error: maximun Suggestion: maximum
Sentence: Speaking of excercise equipments, it is also possible that the buyers are mostly gym managers that buy in wholesale quantity rather than citizen of the same town.
Error: excercise Suggestion: exercise
Error: gym Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Finally, there is no data given about the sales comparison between previous and latest facial year so it would not presumptin to conclude that bigger sales within that area leads to bigger profit for uncoming business.
Error: uncoming Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: presumptin Suggestion: presumption
Sentence: Second, author states that the local health club which was on it's verge of closing down five years ago has reecent increase in their memberships.
Error: reecent Suggestion: recent
Sentence: This speculation is unwarranted.
Error: unwarranted Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: It is equally possible to assume that the reason behind the closing of the club could be lack of facalities they provide or the lack of financial funds that is needed to rent the place.
Error: facalities Suggestion: facilities
Sentence: The point being, it is the reason for the closure is not states by the authur.
Error: authur Suggestion: author
Sentence: Hence, the authot presuppose that closing of health is because of less members enrolling int he club.
Error: int Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: authot Suggestion: author
Sentence: Finally, authur used the overgeneralisation flaw which staes that just because soemthing happened to other fitness stores in Plainville, the same will happen to the new business.
Error: authur Suggestion: author
Error: overgeneralisation Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: soemthing Suggestion: something
Error: staes Suggestion: states
Sentence: Also by emnploying fitness program from the school children will not increase their sales as they do not earn enough to buy expensive equipments and even for the comodities liek running shoes or bike they need to seek permission from their parents who might or might not invest in their ideas.
Error: emnploying Suggestion: employing
Error: comodities Suggestion: commodities
Error: liek Suggestion: like
Sentence: In order to strenghten this augument, the author should at very least be conducting a survey, having participants of different age groups, asking about what they like to buy and how much are they willing to pay for their health and fitness.
Error: strenghten Suggestion: strengthen
Error: augument Suggestion: augment
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 25 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 405 350
No. of Characters: 1950 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.486 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.815 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.322 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 237, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...t due to the high population of the town , the buniness will be booming in the nea...
^^
Line 3, column 279, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , perhaps
... maximun buyers are from its nearby town,perhaps the shopkeeper is selling online of som...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...its verge of closing down five years ago has reecent increase in their membership...
^^
Line 5, column 512, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun members is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...se that closing of health is because of less members enrolling int he club. Fina...
^^^^
Line 5, column 542, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'clubs'.
Suggestion: clubs
...ecause of less members enrolling int he club. Finally, authur used the overgener...
^^^^
Line 7, column 180, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...e same will happen to the new business. Also by emnploying fitness program from the ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, hence, if, second, so, thus, in conclusion, speaking of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1998.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.94554455446 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63874268601 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.55198019802 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 605.7 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.9444104564 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.875 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.25 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.8125 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146317367367 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0446253914848 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0429078030423 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0783963928439 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0366018692666 0.0628817314937 58% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.