The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
From the birth of science, the sole purpose of evolution has been made clear by the scientists: Evolve to be better, for better survival. Although the modern day man, or, Homo Sapen is said to be the most evolved person, by innovating and utilising the best technology at hand, it the man can at some point be said to have become “fragile” as compared to its ancestors. In my opinion, the luxuries have indeed made the modern day man’s life easier and better, at the same time more lazier and weaker. These luxuries have impacted the life of people in three major ways.
To begin with, the man has evolved himself and the tools he invents. The hunting spears of caveman have been replaced with more sophisticated traps. But the same inventions are making humans lazy. Man has lost health in the race between time and money. People today are ready to invest money in technology, which can save their time and bring more productivity. This has several negative impacts on health. What ones used to be full body exercise for farmers is now replaced with machinery. Although the farm’s overall harvest is much better, it has made the farmer physically weak. And this is not just applicable in the field of agriculture, take any other industry, any “desk job”. Majority of these convenient jobs are making people weaker. In UNESCO’s 2018 report, it has been reported that 8% more people die each year than preceding due to heart issues. This is some serious concern one needs to evaluate and resolve.
Moreover, the technology has become a part of us. In Robert Brown’s Origin, he has pictured a vision of future, where humans have evolved into a newer species, which is a combination of technology and man. It is clearly visible that modern day man has increased his dependency on technology, for any kind of task. Let it be as hard as flying in air, or as easy is purchasing grocery. Every thing is now just a button-click or a tap away. This dependency is vicious killer. One never knows when one gets addicted to it. Ones a person turns into an addict, it is impossible to separate the two. That is the sad reality of technology.
Although one can claim that technology can make us all weaker, to survive as individuals, one must ask a question: “Do we really need to survive as ‘individuals’?” Evolution is not only described by becoming stronger, but also, changing one species as a whole to survive as a group. These emerging technologies are bringing the world together, with a lot of convenience. Before 20th century, it could have taken months or days for a message to be delivered, with the modern day communication, messaging takes seconds. But the exciting factor is that messaging itself is obsolete, as now one can use video calling and see other. With this high-tech, the world is bonding and staying connected. This tech has helped to solve many (social/geographical) issues, let it be LGBT, natural disasters: Earthquakes of Japan, Tsunami of India, hunger in South-Africa. If this tech can bind as one single entity, then it might be hard for one to survive as individual, but as a community humans will become invincible.
Luxuries are always good to have, at the same time one must also use it responsibly. Addiction (to luxuries) towards anything is always bad, and it is always advised to utilise things in a careful manner. Although that luxuries make man weak might be true, what matters most for the mankind is how we survive together as a group.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 493, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'lazier' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: lazier
...ife easier and better, at the same time more lazier and weaker. These luxuries have impacte...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 996, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'human'?
Suggestion: human
...rvive as individual, but as a community humans will become invincible. Luxuries are...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 184, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... it is always advised to utilise things in a careful manner. Although that luxuries make man weak m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, moreover, really, second, so, then, kind of, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 36.0 19.5258426966 184% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 14.8657303371 128% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 33.0505617978 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 66.0 58.6224719101 113% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2932.0 2235.4752809 131% => OK
No of words: 604.0 442.535393258 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.85430463576 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95746018188 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.957226169 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 317.0 215.323595506 147% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524834437086 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 942.3 704.065955056 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 6.24550561798 224% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 7.0 1.77640449438 394% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 13.0 4.38483146067 296% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 35.0 20.2370786517 173% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.0485940766 60.3974514979 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.7714285714 118.986275619 70% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.2571428571 23.4991977007 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.51428571429 5.21951772744 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 5.13820224719 214% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.83258426966 269% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0708512421467 0.243740707755 29% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0196896354999 0.0831039109588 24% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0255975932298 0.0758088955206 34% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0434392331834 0.150359130593 29% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0138998614204 0.0667264976115 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.8420337079 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.55 12.1639044944 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 142.0 100.480337079 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.