The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The owner of Movies Galore claims that by reducing the operating expenses at ten of the Movies Galore's video rental stores will improve the profit of the organization. He presents an instance that supports his claim that proved to reduce the operating expenses. However, upon careful inspection, it provides little credible support for the owner's conclusion. Hence, the argument might be considered unsubstantial and flawed.
First of all, the owner asserts that the profit can be improved only by reducing the operating expenses, but he fails to consider that there could be other possible ways to achieve the same. For instance, more people now prefer online video rentals over the actual store rented videos. So, the owner could try to build an online portal that allows people to rent videos online. Another example would be to use advanced marketing strategies. The argument would have been much more convincing if it could shed more light upon why these aspects were not considered to improve profits.
If reducing the operating expenses is the only option that is feasible in reducing the profit, the owner conveys that following a strategy followed by one store would reflect the same result across all the remaining nine stores. In its current form, it implies that closing a store earlier than usual and getting rid of all the movies older than five years would yield a result analogous to all the remaining stores. But, people in any other region might not prefer a store that closes earlier. In addition, some people might have a preference for old movies over new. This proves to be contrary to the owner's intentions. Therefore, the owner needs to provide substantial evidence on whether acting on this assumption would not produce adverse results.
In conclusion, the owner's claim is unpersuasive as it stands. To support his claims, the owner needs to provide more concrete evidence, perhaps with a deeper understanding or a detailed analysis of all plausible options for improving the profits of Movies Galore.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
minimum 3 arguments wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 333 350
No. of Characters: 1663 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.272 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.994 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.458 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.684 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.499 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 341, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'owners'' or 'owner's'?
Suggestion: owners'; owner's
...rovides little credible support for the owners conclusion. Hence, the argument might b...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 552, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'considered improving'.
Suggestion: considered improving
...e light upon why these aspects were not considered to improve profits. If reducing the operating e...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, so, therefore, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1703.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 333.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.11411411411 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27180144563 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53620627161 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.564564564565 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 536.4 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 55.1110863067 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.176470588 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5882352941 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94117647059 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.221405157223 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0662663319126 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0917527679836 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145058346588 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.071078998888 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.32 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.