The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In the memo, the owner of movie Galore argues that they should new policies which were adopted to downtown marston to improve profits. although the argument may seem sound at first, the lack of specific evidence leads me to question the validity of the argument.
Firstly, the owner needs to provide solid evidence on the credibility of the decrease in operating expenses and the increase in prices at movies Galore’s ten movie rental stores. The owner adamantly believes that they must reduce operating expenses instead of raising prices to solve the problem of declining profits. however, it is possible that although they increase their prices, the prices may be marginal because their initial prices are minute. Besides, due to good economic condition, they may not lose customers although they raise their prices. As a result, even if they are famous for their low prices, they might not lose customers by raising prices. therefore, raising prices may be a good option to grow profits.
Next, the owner needs to supplement the argument with more concrete evidence on the universality of marston’s case to prove that their company should reduce their operating hours. he states that they implemented new policies last month in downtown marston, decreasing operating hours and reducing its overall inventory. Also, they have received very few customer complaints about them. however, it has been a month since it started to be implemented, so many people may not know the changes to new policies. therefore, it should be monitored for the long run. In addition, the majority of people would go home after getting off from work in the evening because the store is located in downtown, and people in the downtown may be largely the young or middle-aged. Thus, the company did not have any customer complaints not because of the effectiveness of new policies but because of this geographic aspect of downtown marston. therefore, they should not consider reducing operating hours in other stores.
Lastly, more specific evidence is needed on the soundness of the conclusion that they should adopt these new policies in all stores for improving profits as their best options. although the new policies were effective in marston, it would be far-fetched to state that adopting these new policies is the “best” option to improve profits. There are better ways, and these policies can be recommended to most movie-rental stores, not all stores.
In brief, the argument of the owner is not sound. To bolster the argument, he should provide the aforementioned evidence.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 418 350
No. of Characters: 2092 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.522 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.005 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.287 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 136, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...to downtown marston to improve profits. although the argument may seem sound at first, t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 324, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...solve the problem of declining profits. however, it is possible that although they incr...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 669, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...t not lose customers by raising prices. therefore, raising prices may be a good option to...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 186, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
...ny should reduce their operating hours. he states that they implemented new polici...
^^
Line 9, column 392, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ery few customer complaints about them. however, it has been a month since it started t...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 514, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...y not know the changes to new policies. therefore, it should be monitored for the long ru...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 932, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
... geographic aspect of downtown marston. therefore, they should not consider reducing oper...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 178, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...mproving profits as their best options. although the new policies were effective in mars...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, so, therefore, thus, in addition, in brief, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2185.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 418.0 441.139720559 95% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22727272727 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70872248327 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485645933014 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.8596399459 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.047619048 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9047619048 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.57142857143 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22338497401 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0754912818063 0.0743258471296 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103815954743 0.0701772020484 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.117346032397 0.128457276422 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0861209604627 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.