The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"Because of declining profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices. Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago. Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this argument, the author asserts that all ten movie-rental stores should apply the policy of reducing operating hour and discarding DVD more than five years for improving profits. this argument may sound convincing at first, but the lack of evidence makes to have a question of its validity.
First, the author should provide solid evidence if closing the movie-rental store three hours earlier would not be problematic to gain income. For reducing operating expenses, he suggests to reduce opening hours. However, hours from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. might be profitable hours which earn the most income of the store. People who go back to their house after work could stop by movie-rental shop and rent a movie. In such case, shorten operating hour might affect a lot to the total income.
Second, the author should make supplementary explanation for changing DVD inventory. By discarding DVDs which is longer stocked than five years, he hastily expects that it will increase the profit of the store. but there could be a lot of customers who want to rent a movie which released 5 years before. In case of discarding old DVDs, the store cannot satisfy this customer. Thus, it can reduce the income of sales income. Without considering that these old DVDs are useless to increase the profit, this argument is not persuasive.
Lastly, the author’s assertion is not solid because he disregarded few complaints. he states that there were few complaints which is negligible. but it is not probable to assume these complaints are not considerable. few complaints could be serious reasons to reduce customers. In addition, these complaints accumulated for only one month. it could be negligible amount in first month but could be significant in near future.
In brief, the argument is unsolid because of aforementioned reasons. To strengthen, the author should provide more concrete evidence on the validity on that short operating hours and reducing DVDs would affect positively in increasing profits and that few complaints could be negligible.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 335 350
No. of Characters: 1668 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.278 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.678 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.747 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.575 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 185, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... than five years for improving profits. this argument may sound convincing at first,...
^^^^
Line 5, column 180, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggests reducing'.
Suggestion: suggests reducing
...me. For reducing operating expenses, he suggests to reduce opening hours. However, hours from 6:00...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 496, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...might affect a lot to the total income. Second, the author should make supplemen...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 212, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
... will increase the profit of the store. but there could be a lot of customers who w...
^^^
Line 13, column 89, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: He
... because he disregarded few complaints. he states that there were few complaints w...
^^
Line 13, column 151, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ere few complaints which is negligible. but it is not probable to assume these comp...
^^^
Line 13, column 223, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Few
... these complaints are not considerable. few complaints could be serious reasons to ...
^^^
Line 13, column 346, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...plaints accumulated for only one month. it could be negligible amount in first mon...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, lastly, may, second, so, then, thus, in addition, in brief
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1735.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 333.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.21021021021 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.27180144563 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77896736155 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.531531531532 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 519.3 705.55239521 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.1817496949 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.619047619 119.503703932 69% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.8571428571 23.324526521 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.95238095238 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131957555822 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0385920218206 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0507409220399 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0810158188549 0.128457276422 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0580553084265 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.64 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 54.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.25 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.