The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of
video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be addressed in order to
decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result and
explain how the answers to those questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument claims that the optimal way to reduce operating cost in Movies Galore’s stores without jeopardizing their reputation is by implementing changes in other nine Movies Galore stores as piloted in downtown Marston last month. But the argument stated in this way raises lots of questions like what is the proportion of average number of customers coming to store before 6:00 PM to 6:00 PM and 9:00 P.M. in all 10 stores and is it simlar in each stores?
The second important questions which needs to be answered is that, How is the demand of movies released more than five years ago in all stores and how does it varies across its 10 stores? The conclusion of the argument relies a lot on the similarities of all the stores for which there is no clear evidence. Hence the argument is weak or unconvincing without answers to the above stated questions.
Firstly, to verify the conclusion of the argument we will require answer regarding ratio of the customers coming to stores before 6:00 PM to 6:00 PM and 9:00 P.M. for the 10 stores. The answer for this question will verify the conclusion of the argument as there may be a case where the avaerage number of customers visiting the downtown Marston is very low after 6:00 PM as compared to 6:00 PM and 9:00 PM, so there was not a significant impact of the store being closed after 6:00 PM. But this may not be a case for other 9 stores as some or all other stores might have a high footfall between 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM as compared to day time. So, in a situation there will be great negative impact on the revenue by implementing the proposed change in timing therby causing decline in profits for the company.
Secondly, the other important question which need to be addressed is the demand of movies released more than five years ago in all stores. This answer to this question is also very important in order to justify the conclusion as in different region the demand for different type of movies may differ. There may be a case that mostly young crowd like college students live near the downtown Marston, due to which the demand for older movies is less. But this may be not the case with other 9 stores, as the people living near those stores may be middle aged or senior citizen. In such as situation for such stores the demand for older movies (released more than five years) may be higher. So, implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores as piloted in downtown Marston store may have a negative impact on the profits.
In conclusion, for proper evaluation of the claim and to derive at the stated conclusion that the profits of Movies Galore stores will increased if similar changes are made in the store timings and stock of other nine Movies Galore stores as piloted in downtown Marston last month, we require answers to the above stated questions. Without answer to these questions it would not be possible to decide whether implementing the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- ???
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also need to argue:
Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 542 350
No. of Characters: 2416 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.825 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.458 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.473 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 186 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.882 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.271 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.395 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.195 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 159, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... years ago in all stores and how does it varies across its 10 stores? The conclus...
^^
Line 2, column 161, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'vary'?
Suggestion: vary
...ears ago in all stores and how does it varies across its 10 stores? The conclusion of...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 161, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'vary'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: vary
...ears ago in all stores and how does it varies across its 10 stores? The conclusion of...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 309, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...s for which there is no clear evidence. Hence the argument is weak or unconvincing wi...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 136, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'increase'
Suggestion: increase
...he profits of Movies Galore stores will increased if similar changes are made in the stor...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, hence, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 78.0 55.5748502994 140% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2474.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 530.0 441.139720559 120% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6679245283 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79809637944 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47397273991 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.381132075472 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 762.3 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 63.861495891 57.8364921388 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.529411765 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.1764705882 23.324526521 134% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.76470588235 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0707542580211 0.218282227539 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0308627644048 0.0743258471296 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0348175442864 0.0701772020484 50% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0470133405798 0.128457276422 37% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0251302332244 0.0628817314937 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.93 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.4 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.