The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of
video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at
Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising
our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown
Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than
9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years
ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering
great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine
Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to
decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain
how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument could be summarized as a movie renal store owner aims to stop the declination of it’s profit without effecting the existing repetation of the store that it is selling great movies by a low prices. Then the owner recommended to reduce the operational costs, which could be achieved by reducing the daily opening hours of the store and by get ride of the videos of the movies that is issued more than 5 years ago. This recommendation could be validated by answering a set of questions.
For instance, the owner of the store should provide a clear logic answer about what is the main reason of this profit declination. Perhaps, the reasons of this declination could be solved without effecting the reputation of the store. As it could be expected that reducing working hours of a store could itself be a reason of more decreasing the overall selling rates.
Furthermore, the owner should answer questions related to the selling rate and operating costs circumstances of each store. Maybe each store has it’s own operating strategy that is not costing that much amount of mounthly bills of the store. Consequently, it is not a logic to apply the same strategy on a high opeating cost big branch on a smaller branch which operating costs is nothing compared to the a downtown main branch for example.
Moreover, the owner should provide a clear records about what is the selling rate of movies that is issued more than 5 years ago. Perhaps, a certain type of movies, which is imported from other country and translated to the launage of the society where this shop is operating, would have high demand from the market up to 10 years for example since it’s first apperance in the home counrty of the movie. Thus, it is needed to show the type of availe movies in the store and the selling records of these old movies in order to validate the owner’s recommendation success.
In addition, the author need to clarify what is the selling rates of the 9 stores during the period from 6PM tp 9PM. Consequently, it could be investigated that closing the shop that these hours dialy will not have significant effect on the selling records of the shops. It could be noticed also that maybe different braches of the store have different selling peaks hours therefore it could be excluded the shops that have sellig peak hours during this period of time and to be detected another closing hours for these shops.
Consequently, the shop’s owner should provide clear answers to any kind of questions that might float in the shop’s managers’ heads in order to convience them by hi/her own recoomendation about the ways how to reverse the declination of the profit of the branches all over the market.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The argument could be summarized as a movie renal store owner aims to stop the declination of it's profit without effecting the existing repetation of the store that it is selling great movies by a low prices.
Error: repetation Suggestion: repetition
Sentence: Maybe each store has it's own operating strategy that is not costing that much amount of mounthly bills of the store.
Error: mounthly Suggestion: monthly
Sentence: Consequently, it is not a logic to apply the same strategy on a high opeating cost big branch on a smaller branch which operating costs is nothing compared to the a downtown main branch for example.
Error: opeating Suggestion: operating
Sentence: Perhaps, a certain type of movies, which is imported from other country and translated to the launage of the society where this shop is operating, would have high demand from the market up to 10 years for example since it's first apperance in the home counrty of the movie.
Error: launage Suggestion: manage
Error: counrty Suggestion: country
Error: apperance Suggestion: appearance
Sentence: Thus, it is needed to show the type of availe movies in the store and the selling records of these old movies in order to validate the owner's recommendation success.
Error: availe Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In addition, the author need to clarify what is the selling rates of the 9 stores during the period from 6PM tp 9PM.
Error: tp Suggestion: up
Sentence: Consequently, it could be investigated that closing the shop that these hours dialy will not have significant effect on the selling records of the shops.
Error: dialy Suggestion: dial
Sentence: It could be noticed also that maybe different braches of the store have different selling peaks hours therefore it could be excluded the shops that have sellig peak hours during this period of time and to be detected another closing hours for these shops.
Error: braches Suggestion: braces
Error: sellig Suggestion: selling
Sentence: Consequently, the shop's owner should provide clear answers to any kind of questions that might float in the shop's managers' heads in order to convience them by hi/her own recoomendation about the ways how to reverse the declination of the profit of the branches all over the market.
Error: recoomendation Suggestion: recommendation
Error: convience Suggestion: convince
--------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 470 350
No. of Characters: 2190 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.656 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.66 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.507 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 144 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.385 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.39 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.662 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 231, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended reducing'.
Suggestion: recommended reducing
... movies by a low prices. Then the owner recommended to reduce the operational costs, which could be a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dated by answering a set of questions. For instance, the owner of the store sho...
^^^
Line 2, column 238, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... effecting the reputation of the store. As it could be expected that reducing work...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... decreasing the overall selling rates. Furthermore, the owner should answer que...
^^^
Line 3, column 409, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: the; a
... operating costs is nothing compared to the a downtown main branch for example. M...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he a downtown main branch for example. Moreover, the owner should provide a cle...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...owner's recommendation success. In addition, the author need to clarify ...
^^^
Line 6, column 458, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...that have sellig peak hours during this period of time and to be detected another closing hour...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...other closing hours for these shops. Consequently, the shop's owner shou...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2272.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 469.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84434968017 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67185874553 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.432835820896 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 694.8 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 64.632343635 57.8364921388 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.0 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.3125 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.3125 5.70786347227 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.121852532286 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0486850244665 0.0743258471296 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0437004254063 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0775885369973 0.128457276422 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0494323857711 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.21 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.