The following appeared in a recommendation from the planning department of the city of Transopolis.
"Ten years ago, as part of a comprehensive urban renewal program, the city of Transopolis adapted for industrial use a large area of severely substandard housing near the freeway. Subsequently, several factories were constructed there, crime rates in the area declined, and property tax revenues for the entire city increased. To further revitalize the city, we should now take similar action in a declining residential area on the opposite side of the city. Since some houses and apartments in existing nearby neighborhoods are currently unoccupied, alternate housing for those displaced by this action will be readily available."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
In this recommendation, the author claims that the Seoul city has to replace the residential area on the opposite side of the city to further revitalize the city. To support her claims, she points out that the result of changing housing area near the freeway to the industrial use increase tax revenues and effect to the construction of few factories. Careful scrutiny reveals that this argument has several logical flaws.
First, the author hastily assumes that recent conditions of the city are similar with 10-year ago the condition of the city. Common sense tells us, however, that 10 years is enough time for everything to be changed. The trend of the industry, patterns of consumption, traits of residents etc. could be changed for 10 years. If she cannot why she thinks the conditions of the city have been little changed, we cannot be convinced by her recommendation
Second, based on the fact that, after adaption for industrial use a large area of housing near the freeway, tax revenue increased, she assumes the time sequence as causality. there is a possibility that the reason for increased tax revenue was not due to the transformation. Perhaps, for example, the number of residents or visitors could be increased or, as the economic state of the nation has improved, the state of the city could have got better. Until the author presents us specified data about the precise reason for increasing tax revenue, this argument is improper.
Finally, she hastily assumes that the empty houses nearby neighborhood are enough for the people of the residential area. Even If there are unoccupied house and, even, the city government gives subsidy for moving, in reality, there are many limitations for this kind of moving. For example, the number of empty houses could be matched with the number of residents in that area, or some individuals could not want to move because of recollection for the earlier houses. If these are true, this argument is problematic.
In conclusion, this argument is dubious as it stands. To make this recommendation more persuasive, the author has to explain why the author thinks previous and recent conditions of the city are the same and give us data about the cause of increased tax revenue. To evaluate better, she must why she thinks the citizen s of the residential area will accept the forceful movement.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 394 350
No. of Characters: 1907 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.455 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.84 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.625 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.176 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.96 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 451, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...annot be convinced by her recommendation Second, based on the fact that, after ad...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 176, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...assumes the time sequence as causality. there is a possibility that the reason for in...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 152, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'houses'?
Suggestion: houses
...tial area. Even If there are unoccupied house and, even, the city government gives su...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, second, so, as to, for example, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1970.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 394.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72568980929 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497461928934 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 66.3661746359 57.8364921388 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.444444444 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8888888889 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.61111111111 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178094493909 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0539362193713 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0399979608297 0.0701772020484 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.104807368965 0.128457276422 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0274549812875 0.0628817314937 44% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.