The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In an increasing digital world, bookstores need to improve and provide new services in order to attract and maintain customers. Nowadays, it is quite easy to grab a coffee at a local coffee shop, to have access to almost any book desired and to sit on a placate site to enjoy the reading. So, offering a café to its clientele sounds a reasonable idea to a bookstore aiming to increase its public. However, the recommendation is rife with flimsy assumptions that may not hold true after close scrutiny.
First of all, the author claims that Monarch Books store has a large base of customers because it possesses a wide selection of books on a variety of subjects. That conclusion, however, may not be true. Perhaps the bookstore is popular because it provides a confortable and clean space for reading, or due to the excellence in the attention its employees give to the clientele, or even because they sell books for a reasonable price compared to other bookstores in the vicinity; still, people may like the store because the place is placid, which creates a great atmosphere for reading. So, setting up a café may not be a good idea, because people may start chatting and making noise that till then was extraneous to that place. This could then repel customers.
Furthermore, the letter says the bookstore could descontinue the children`s book section because the percentage of children in the society is waning. Well, even if the number of children decreases, it does not imply that people will stop attending the infants` book section. By dismanteling that section, people who still need books for their children will start to attend other stores, eventually they will start to consume other books from that place too.
Last of all, Regal Books opened its café recently, thereby assuming that Monarch Book has to open one too in order to compete with the former is to imply that the popularity of Regal Books store has increased. That, on the other hand, cannot be corroborated by any information presented in the letter. Actually, if the number of people attenting Regal Books store allays, opening a café could not be as salutary to Monarch`s as the author says it is.
In conclusion, at a first glance, it sounds reasonable that providing a café to the customers could be advantageous to a bookstore. The profile of its current customers, however, has to be taken in to account to avoid certain pitfalls, like repeling the public because the quietness of the place was disturbed or because an important section was discontinued.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Perhaps the bookstore is popular because it provides a confortable and clean space for reading, or due to the excellence in the attention its employees give to the clientele, or even because they sell books for a reasonable price compared to other bookstores in the vicinity; still, people may like the store because the place is placid, which creates a great atmosphere for reading.
Error: confortable Suggestion: comfortable
Sentence: Furthermore, the letter says the bookstore could descontinue the childrens book section because the percentage of children in the society is waning.
Error: descontinue Suggestion: discontinue
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: By dismanteling that section, people who still need books for their children will start to attend other stores, eventually they will start to consume other books from that place too.
Error: dismanteling Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Actually, if the number of people attenting Regal Books store allays, opening a caf? could not be as salutary to Monarchs as the author says it is.
Error: attenting Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The profile of its current customers, however, has to be taken in to account to avoid certain pitfalls, like repeling the public because the quietness of the place was disturbed or because an important section was discontinued.
Error: repeling Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- this is wrong:
First of all, the author claims that Monarch Books store has a large base of customers because it possesses a wide selection of books on a variety of subjects. That conclusion, however, may not be true.
need to argue against:
Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers.
argument 2 -- better arguments: first, the most recent national census may apply to the city; second, suppose a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten is true, it doesn't mean the sales will decline too.
argument 3 -- better way: it works for A, it may not work for B.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 432 350
No. of Characters: 2050 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.559 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.745 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.61 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.16 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.042 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 253, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...o almost any book desired and to sit on a placate site to enjoy the reading. So, offering...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 487, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...ssumptions that may not hold true after close scrutiny. First of all, the author claims th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 177, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... a variety of subjects. That conclusion, however, may not be true. Perhaps the bo...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, still, then, well, as to, in conclusion, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2139.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 432.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95138888889 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55901411391 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79445514411 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.49537037037 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 658.8 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.3648590354 57.8364921388 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.823529412 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.4117647059 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.29411764706 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243188155157 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0717908569879 0.0743258471296 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0689186362413 0.0701772020484 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126541282052 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0557117937633 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.