The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
The recommendation letter from board of directors to open the cafe and the explanation stated before opening the cafe seems unjust. There are many loop holes which can be pointed out. On the first hand, people visit Monarch books mainly to read or to borrow books. Hence books are the center point of attraction, rather the argument is stating that cafe is more attractive. Secondly, no statement is made that what categories of books are read by what kind of people, like old age people, or kids, or teenage. Thirdly, a relation is made between the number of children books sold and the population of the kids under ten.
On the first hand, the author is stating that opening cafe will attract more customers. People visit Monarch books, mainly to study, read, borrow and to buy books. Hence here the books of vast variety in different categories are the center of attraction. Rather the author is stating that the cafe is more attracting the people rather than books. In this context it can be questioned that how can a cafe increase the popularity when having said that Monarch Books was popular since twenty years for its books. No relation can be drawn form the statements and hence the conclusion is inept.
Secondly, it is not stated that what kind of books are read by what kind of people. Without this the author is stating that, the children books can be discontinued to make space for the cafe, and also pointing that the statistics of population of children who are below ten have decreased. It may be likely that even teenage kids, old age people also read children's books. Or it may even be likely that Monarch books is has gained its popularity by children's books and it may loose its popularity by discontinuing it. Here the comparison is made between number of people who read children's books and the census statistics. This comparison seems facile to draw the conclusion.
Thirdly, author is stating that Monarch books can compete with Regal Books, just by opening books. It may be likely that Regal books, though opened recently has gained popularity for still better books than Monarch Books. Just opening the cafe will not increase the popularity in the place where the books have more importance. Hence the reason behind opening the cafe in this concern also do not seem potential.
In total the conclusion drawn by the author for opening the cafe in Monarch Books, and the reasons stated for this seem facile. Still proper and in-depth study has to be made to increase the popularity and compete with Regal Books. Thus the argument fails to give potential explanation and the statements are inherently flawed.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- the author just said: 'Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers.' it didn't say:
'the cafe is more attracting the people rather than books.'
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- not exactly
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https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-recommen…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 453 350
No. of Characters: 2135 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.613 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.713 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.362 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.12 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.799 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.64 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 266, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ooks mainly to read or to borrow books. Hence books are the center point of attractio...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 165, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...o study, read, borrow and to buy books. Hence here the books of vast variety in diffe...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 256, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...ategories are the center of attraction. Rather the author is stating that the cafe is ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 477, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...opularity by childrens books and it may loose its popularity by discontinuing it. Her...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 330, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...e where the books have more importance. Hence the reason behind opening the cafe in t...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 129, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Still,
...he reasons stated for this seem facile. Still proper and in-depth study has to be mad...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 233, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...opularity and compete with Regal Books. Thus the argument fails to give potential ex...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, third, thirdly, thus, as to, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2192.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 453.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83885209713 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42116967189 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.386313465784 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 671.4 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.1212077074 57.8364921388 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.68 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.12 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.76 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233207478759 0.218282227539 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0741173410885 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0679207784796 0.0701772020484 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158369479667 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0457311146066 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.5 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.86 8.32208582834 82% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.