The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation of opening a cafe in Monarch bookstore is unlikely to attract more customers because it is based on questionable assumptions.
First, the board of directors suggests to remove children book section in order to open a cafe within a store citing reduction in percentage of children accornig to recent census. However, it is not known whether this reduction in percentage of children was more or few. Percentage do not convey the absolute value, the reduction in children population could of few. Moreover, there is possibility that number of children below 10 have never reduced instead the number of adult population must have increased.Thus, percent change in children population belies the trun change in number of children. EVen if the number of children below 10 years have reduced countrywide, it is not known whether there is significant reduction in population of children in locality where Monarh Bookstore is situated because children in local area forms the customer base of Monarch Bookstore and not those from all over the country. Therefore, removing children section is likely to be counterproductive and reduce the number of customers of the Monarch bookstore.
Second,it is assumed by the Board of Directors of the Monarch Books that since the bookstore has been at the same place for more than twenty years, it is likely to attract more customer into cafe. But the fact that the Monarch Book is known for books militates against the suggestion of the Board of Directors. It is being assumed that there are no other good cafes present in the locality to vie with the Monarch Books. Presence of other good cafes in the neighbourhood will probably reduce the customre base of the Monarch Books. Now, the Monarch Book will lose the customers purchasing book as well as those plannig to come to cafe. Thus, the recommendation is unlikely to increase the customer base of the Monarch Books.
Third, Board of Directors states that by opening a cafe within a bookstore, the Monarch Books could compete with the Regal Books. In doing so,the Board of Director assumes that the Regal Books and the Monarch Books have the overlapping customer base. There is possibility that the Regal Books is famous for selling books that are not sold by the Monarch Books. Also, the cafe in Regal Books could become more succesful because people like the taste of coffe and other eateries served there. In either way, the Monarch Books will lose its customer base to the Regal Books.
In conclusion, the recommendation of the Board of Directors of the Monarch Books is unlikely to gravitate more customers because it is based on flawed assumption of questionable authenticity.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: First, the board of directors suggests to remove children book section in order to open a cafe within a store citing reduction in percentage of children accornig to recent census.
Error: accornig Suggestion: according
Sentence: Moreover, there is possibility that number of children below 10 have never reduced instead the number of adult population must have increased.Thus, percent change in children population belies the trun change in number of children.
Error: trun Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: But the fact that the Monarch Book is known for books militates against the suggestion of the Board of Directors.
Error: militates Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Presence of other good cafes in the neighbourhood will probably reduce the customre base of the Monarch Books.
Error: neighbourhood Suggestion: neighborhood
Error: customre Suggestion: customer
Sentence: Now, the Monarch Book will lose the customers purchasing book as well as those plannig to come to cafe.
Error: plannig Suggestion: planning
Sentence: Also, the cafe in Regal Books could become more succesful because people like the taste of coffe and other eateries served there.
Error: coffe Suggestion: coffee
Error: succesful Suggestion: successful
argument 1 -- better to say: 'a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten' is not equal to 'less sales'.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2200 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.683 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.579 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.258 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.404 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.62 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.2 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 31, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggests removing'.
Suggestion: suggests removing
...mptions. First, the board of directors suggests to remove children book section in order to open ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 353, Rule ID: MODAL_OF[1]
Message: It's never correct to use "of" after a modal verb. Use 'could have', or, in informal register, 'could've'.
Suggestion: could have; could've
...e, the reduction in children population could of few. Moreover, there is possibility tha...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 509, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...of adult population must have increased.Thus, percent change in children population ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 620, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...umber of children. EVen if the number of children below 10 years have reduced cou...
^^
Line 3, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
...tomers of the Monarch bookstore. Second,it is assumed by the Board of Directors of...
^^^
Line 4, column 141, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ompete with the Regal Books. In doing so,the Board of Director assumes that the Rega...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, third, thus, well, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 79.0 55.5748502994 142% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2247.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 445.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04943820225 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76969004249 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.397752808989 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 709.2 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.7449737593 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.263157895 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4210526316 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.440341697293 0.218282227539 202% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.17265150951 0.0743258471296 232% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110145707141 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.299345231586 0.128457276422 233% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106015063594 0.0628817314937 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.65 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.