The following report appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.
"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the mot frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this report, the author suggests that consuming more fish can prevent colds, and reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces.
It needs more evidence when considering the high correlation between the number of seeing the doctor and the fish consumption. It’s likely that East Meria’s GDP is below the average among the country so residents tend to buy medicine in the drugstore rather than spend large amount of money visiting a doctor. What’s more, it’s better for making accurate inference by getting more natural resources between West Meria and East Meria. It’s possible that East Meria is located along the ocean or river, and it’s rather convenient for the citizens to consume fish instead of meat.
Even though the consumption of fish is highly correlated to the lower rate of cold in East Meria, the original health state of two cities is unknown. If citizens living in East Meria tend to exercise during their leisure time, then it’s reasonable that they have stronger immense system than that of West Meria. Consequently, they don’t have to visit a doctor often given that the cost of health insurance in two cities is same. There are also various variables affecting one’s health, such as the personal sanitary, weather, and even air quality. It needs to list more relative data before determining fish is the only one factor of suffering from cold.
On the other hand, it also has to check whether every students or employees give reasons for absences from school and work is honest. It’s possible sometimes people may encounter academic pressure or being isolated by other classmates. In this case, students definitely take a day off without saying the real reason, in contrast, they would prefer using the common excuse such as cold to stay at home. Similarly, employees are also do the same thing when being lazy or idle.
The author recommends taking lchthaid to supply body with enough nutrition. However, there’s no data showing the function of consuming fish is equivalent to taking a pill. It’s also likely that the essential ingredient when eating fish isn’t the oil but the eyes or certain parts of its meat.
To sum up, it still leaves lots of logical flaws and wrong inferences in this report, and it had better make a detailed survey before making a conclusion that eating more fish can lower the rate of absenteeism.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 1911 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.789 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.363 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.768 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.051 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 438, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'done'.
Suggestion: done
... at home. Similarly, employees are also do the same thing when being lazy or idle....
^^
Line 8, column 308, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the eyes or certain parts of its meat. To sum up, it still leaves lots of logic...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, however, if, may, similarly, so, still, then, as to, in contrast, such as, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2034.0 2260.96107784 90% => OK
No of words: 397.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1234256927 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57427772859 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.589420654912 0.468620217663 126% => OK
syllable_count: 625.5 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.0499203078 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.0 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0555555556 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11111111111 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176366434326 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0539448259826 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0578176075557 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.09576338234 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0731412542165 0.0628817314937 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.