Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different construction companies—Alpha and Zeta. Although the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build. However, that building's expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. In addition, the energy consumption of the Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Given these data, plus the fact that Zeta has a stable workforce with little employee turnover, we recommend using Zeta rather than Alpha for our new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs.
The author of this argument has drawn an optimistic conclusion to the vice president of a large company that by using the alfha company instead of zeta company in newly developed project because zeta company has more rates than that alfha. To strengthen the argument the author has cited many things against the zeta project, but fails to consider manty other factor which could affect this argument and can reverse the conclusion.
Firstly, The author compares the construction expenses of building having same floor plan. The cost of building company by zeta was more than that of alpha company. This maybe because the material used by both the companies are different. Maybe the material used by the company is very good than that of alpha company. So, the cost of the building is increased. Moreover, the argument does not provide the time when both the companies were built. If both the companies are newly built, then maybe now there is no problems in them but, what about long term? By using good material by zeta company can increase the span of the building and will stand tall during destruction.
Secondly, there is wrong comparision between the maintenance of the buildings. If the floor are of both the building is same, does that mean that the space occupied by both the buildings is same? Number of people working in both the buildings are same? No. Maybe the number of employees in building made by zeta company are more and so it require more maintenance than the other. Also, the location of the buildings are not provided, so maybe there is cost difference between the two places and so maintenance is high.
Thirdly, the author wants the alpha company to build the new building of that company becuase it was cheap at first stage, but Considering all above points, because expenses are low by the company alpha is low, does that mean that it will be same in other region? Maybe in other region the cost of building is high and so it will take more money. In addition, the cost of making building one year ago was something, then does that mean that now also after one year the cost will remain same? No.
Fourthly, The energy comnsuption is more by the building made by zeta, this is because the lights and fans are used more in that building. The number of flooreas are more and so consuption is more. The working hours of the buildings is also not provided. So, maybe the building made by zeta is used during night and so power consuption is more.
Thus, by considering all above points this argument does not stand. The reasons provided by the author are questionable and so it cannot be considered. To bolster the argument, the author needs to provide the statistical data of when and where the buildings were made and also provide the material which was used by both the companies in building.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: To strengthen the argument the author has cited many things against the zeta project, but fails to consider manty other factor which could affect this argument and can reverse the conclusion.
Error: manty Suggestion: many
Sentence: Secondly, there is wrong comparision between the maintenance of the buildings.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison
Sentence: Thirdly, the author wants the alpha company to build the new building of that company becuase it was cheap at first stage, but Considering all above points, because expenses are low by the company alpha is low, does that mean that it will be same in other region?
Error: becuase Suggestion: because
Sentence: Fourthly, The energy comnsuption is more by the building made by zeta, this is because the lights and fans are used more in that building.
Error: comnsuption Suggestion: consumption
Sentence: The number of flooreas are more and so consuption is more.
Error: consuption Suggestion: consumption
Error: flooreas Suggestion: floors
Sentence: So, maybe the building made by zeta is used during night and so power consuption is more.
Error: consuption Suggestion: consumption
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argument 1 -- OK. but why there is a difference for 'long term'?
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
argument 4 -- not OK or put inside argument 3. need to argue the conclusion:
we recommend using Zeta rather than Alpha for our new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs. //still we need to consider the costs.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 495 350
No. of Characters: 2273 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.717 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.592 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.312 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.038 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.449 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.574 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.176 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The author of this argument has drawn an...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...gument and can reverse the conclusion. Firstly, The author compares the constru...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 509, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[4]
Message: Did you mean 'there are no problems'?
Suggestion: there are no problems
...mpanies are newly built, then maybe now there is no problems in them but, what about long term? By u...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd will stand tall during destruction. Secondly, there is wrong comparision bet...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 347, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'requires'?
Suggestion: requires
...made by zeta company are more and so it require more maintenance than the other. Also, ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...two places and so maintenance is high. Thirdly, the author wants the alpha comp...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e year the cost will remain same? No. Fourthly, The energy comnsuption is more...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...night and so power consuption is more. Thus, by considering all above points th...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2331.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 495.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70909090909 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71684168287 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38803260541 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.383838383838 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 728.1 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.7859137463 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.24 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.28 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277290958926 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0904999828977 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0587166230586 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15038762367 0.128457276422 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0636594567386 0.0628817314937 101% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.04 12.5979740519 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.0 8.32208582834 84% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.