"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town — Adams Realty and Fitch Realty — Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
In this argument the author urge to consider that Adams Realty is superior than Fitch Realty as it helps customers to sell their property faster. To support this recommendation, he compared the estate agents of both firms which turns out to be more in Adams Realty. Therefore, he postulated that if anyone wants to sell their home quickly with good amount in return they should definitely go for Adams realty. I find this argument unconvincing for some reasons.
First, Author comparison of both agencies on the basis of number of employees is invalid. It is equally possible to assume that the 25 agents of Fitch's firm are more experience and have successful contacts than 40 of Adams's agents. Perhaps this might be the reason that they are working part time due to their own busy schedule in some other real estate agency or might be their own business. Author failed to include any data about their experience and statistics about their career. In general, success of business depends linearly upon the happiness index of the customers they serve which is also not presented by the author. Therefore, after the careful scrutiny it reveals that this comparison is unwarranted.
Second, Author hypothesized that the homes listed with Adam agency sells faster than of its competitor, Fitch Realty. To support this author presented an example of the home, listed ten years ago, with Fitch to the home he listed last year, with Adam which was sold within a month. This comparison is typically past-present error which states that the past experience cannot be compared with present situation as it is possible to assume that now Fitch agency succeeded exponentially in past ten years. Perhaps, if the author lists his property with fitch he might end up selling it sooner than Adam. Therefore, the argument is unsubstantial.
However, it can be said that the same value of Adam Reality is greater than Fitch Reality as states in the argument by $24,000 but, this does not show that the customers are happy with their service as it was no-where mentions in the argument.
In conclusion, this argument lacks concrete evidence about the reliability of both real estate’s firms. To bolster this argument, the author must provide the detail investigation by the means of Customer survey, about how affordable, reliable the process is for both agencies.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1916 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.9 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.5 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.567 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 76, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
... consider that Adams Realty is superior than Fitch Realty as it helps customers to s...
^^^^
Line 3, column 288, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ght be the reason that they are working part time due to their own busy schedule in some ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 353, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experience'.
Suggestion: experience
...ast-present error which states that the past experience cannot be compared with present situati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, in conclusion, in general
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1972.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 391.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04347826087 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61756678292 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519181585678 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 606.6 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.6225746256 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.555555556 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7222222222 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38888888889 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.194479303024 0.218282227539 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0632265321978 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0657411480637 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106544223061 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0576530365117 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.6 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 98.500998004 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.