ome parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Success in the educational process has a fabulous and influential leverage on our daily life. It is utterly important to appreciate its indelible effect on our community. Although some people hold the viewpoint that rewarding kids with money for their high marks will spoiled them and effect their personality in a negative manner. However, others may hold a different intellect and disagree with this notion. My personal experience and actual observation of life, had led me to agree with the idea that giving money to our kids for their educational achievement have many beneficial phases. In the following essay, I shall delve into most outstanding reasons.
First and foremost, offer money for their high grades will encourage them to devote their time, efforts, and thinking to achieve a higher educational level. Moreover, this will make them love to learn and ameliorate their academic knowledge. For instance, they will spend more time in study rather than waste their time playing games or watching television. Indeed this will have a positive affect in their future to respond to the increased demands, challenges, and opportunities of global competitiveness. Furthermore, the whole society will be benefit for their young people as a smart, challenging, and creative people will be borne.
Another reason which deserves some words, those segment of the children are more appreciable to the importance of working hard to gain money. Definitely, they will pursue their lives seak for a jobs and be independent. For example, one of my friends, her father use to give her money for her high grades, she was a hard worker and book-eater. Many years later, she own her private company with 20 employee. She mentioned that the method of her father in reward her, makes her more appreciated to the idea of hard workers deserve better income. Apparently, without rewarding this young lady, she will never become an important part of her country's economy.
Ina nutshell, judging all the reasons which I mentioned before, taking all the factors into account, I would reinforce the idea that it is extremely important to give our young people money for their academic achievement because it will push them to keeps their hard educational level and appreciate the importance of the money for hard worker.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 269, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'spoil'
Suggestion: spoil
...ds with money for their high marks will spoiled them and effect their personality in a ...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 311, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a negative manner" with adverb for "negative"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...oiled them and effect their personality in a negative manner. However, others may hold a different i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lve into most outstanding reasons. First and foremost, offer money for thei...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 206, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eover, this will make them love to learn and ameliorate their academic knowledge....
^^
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Indeed,
... playing games or watching television. Indeed this will have a positive affect in the...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...and creative people will be borne. Another reason which deserves some words...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 268, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
... example, one of my friends, her father use to give her money for her high grades, ...
^^^
Line 9, column 403, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'employee' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'employees'.
Suggestion: employees
...er, she own her private company with 20 employee. She mentioned that the method of her ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 431, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...any with 20 employee. She mentioned that the method of her father in reward her, ...
^^
Line 9, column 536, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to better', 'to well'
Suggestion: to better; to well
...ted to the idea of hard workers deserve better income. Apparently, without rewarding t...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tant part of her countrys economy. Ina nutshell, judging all the reasons wh...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
apparently, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1943.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 375.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18133333333 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7175152049 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.562666666667 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 606.6 618.680645161 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.9522648863 48.9658058833 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.944444444 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8333333333 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.94444444444 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.5376344086 199% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.181951866643 0.236089414692 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0583830667721 0.076458572812 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0500204958383 0.0737576698707 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11395118539 0.150856017488 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0185719302654 0.0645574589148 29% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 10.9000537634 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 86.8835125448 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.