People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do – rather than doing things they should do
Personal enjoyment is what the majority population strives for because human beings are quite egoistic creatures. Being satisfied with what you do is the engine of any activity that people start to do, the anticipated feeling of satisfaction motivates us to do what we do. But some people would say that our environment is usually a determiner and dictator of the things we should do, others will disagree. In my opinion, today, people rather do things they should do for two important reasons.
First, in the modern developing world with constant price increase people have to work a lot to earn enough money to be able to support themselves and their families. An incredibly large number of people have two or even three jobs, which results in the scarcity of time for personal enjoyment. For example, my aunt, who lost her husband a couple of years ago, is a mother of two children, who go to school. She is a very busy business woman and dedicates all the time she has to her job in order to save and feed her family, to make her children happy. She does not want her children to stand out from other children in the school, therefore she has to provide them with good clothing and money for lunch. My aunt complains that she never has a free moment that she can spend for doing her favorite activity – painting. Her unenviable plight shows that today it is not usually possible to do things you like to do.
Second, the word “things” does not necessarily mean that these things are good things, so doing whatever you like sometimes can lead to anarchy. Our world is shared by different types of people and we should not forget that except good people there are the representatives of the other side of the coin – people capable of murder, violence, robbery. I am very happy that I live in the society that is controlled by the government, police and religion. When I was a school student, there was a group, Chomolungma, consisting of people, who found breaking windows of someone’s house, throwing stones at the gates and fences, stealing products from old people who sold them in the streets of the city recreational. These occasions started occurring increasingly often until the inhabitants complained and the police became operational. I think the fate of this grouping was not really nice, most of them ended up in jail. As we can see, even though they liked doing it, there were restricting factors that did not allow them to keep on doing these things.
In conclusion, personal enjoyment today takes a back seat in the world where you do not have time to live your life the way you want due to time deficiency and law restrictions.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 524, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...student, there was a group, Chomolungma, consisting of people, who found breaking...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, really, second, so, therefore, as to, for example, i think, in conclusion, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2212.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 467.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73661670236 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65360175641 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 260.0 212.727598566 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.556745182013 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.2149814999 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.421052632 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5789473684 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.47368421053 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.401598424616 0.236089414692 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.12465853964 0.076458572812 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.146571390115 0.0737576698707 199% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.252789563543 0.150856017488 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.138027673826 0.0645574589148 214% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.51 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.